Reflecting on a Prayer Journal Entry

Reflection is an important part of leading. Summer time is a great time to reflect because the pace of life slows down a bit and many people take time off to recharge. One of the things I like to do when I reflect is take a look back through my old journals to see what God has done in my life over the years. Recently,  I stumbled upon a journal entry that I made on March 6, 2006. At the time, I did not know anything about LAMP or Homewood or urban ministry or mentoring or a doctorate degree or being a pastor at a church. Even though I didn't know any of the details of what God was going to do, I knew in my heart that God was about to break through in a big way in my life. At the time I was unemployed, I had no health insurance, we were struggling financially, and yet I knew God was somehow orchestrating the situation for his purposes. 

Here's the prayer that I wrote to the Lord on that day over five years ago: "Lord, where will you take me? I want to live for you from my heart. I want to serve you... to impact as many people for you as I possibly can. Help me not to focus on the circumstances or living for this world again. I need to hold you at the center of my life. I know you created me for this time and for your purposes. Please show me. I'm ready! I feel you in my great times and in my pain. You are woven throughout. I want to adventure with you, to experience your beauty and majesty once again. Please watch over my family and protect them for me. Draw them closer to you. Have them experience the journey with me."

God is so faithful! My life since that day has been an amazing adventure, a journey that I would not trade for anything. The journey has not been easy... it's been a challenge. But, I can see that God orchestrated the entire journey! When we choose to give up control of our lives, to embrace the radical message of the gospel of Jesus Christ with reckless abandon, and throw ourselves into God's mission to reach the world, then we get to experience the richness and joy that comes with intimacy with our Creator. We find meaning in life when we sell out to the Lord with everything that is in us. God wants to give us the desires of our hearts when our desires align with his purposes.