Thanksgiving in Homewood

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. This was my first Thanksgiving as a resident in Homewood, and I am continuing to gain unique perspectives on life. I think I could probably best describe these perspectives by sharing what I experienced over the past four days. In the past we have typically travelled during this time period (last year we went to New York City), but this year we stayed in the Burgh.

On Thursday (Thanksgiving Day), we woke up in Homewood and watched the Macy's parade on TV. We drove to the North Hills (suburbs) for a huge meal with extended family. Then we drove back to our house in Homewood to spend the night. It was not really an unusual day. On Friday we had some extended family visit us at our house in Homewood. We decided to take them to the Frick Art and History Center located in Point Breeze just a couple of blocks from our house. Those couple of blocks present quite a contrast (the average home price in Homewood is $22,000... the average home price in Point Breeze is well over $300,000). The contrast is most dramatically emphasized by the huge Victorian Frick mansion on Penn Avenue and the accompanying grounds, which just might be described as the most affluent home and grounds in the entire city. The "garage" on the property alone has twenty or thirty luxury antique cars that are symbolic of the wealth generated by coal and steel barons in Pittsburgh during the industrial era. The family built an extra building to accomodate their extensive collection of fine art. The grounds also include a green house, a fancy restaurant, and a gift shop that was at one time a large building used as a play house for kids (it actually had a functioning bowling ally). Today the grounds draw visitors from all over the region because people are interested to peak into the lives of affluent people from a bygone era. While we toured the area I was amazed at the level of extravagence, and I felt at peace on the well-manicured property that in many ways represented the pinnacle of human success and achievement.

After the visit my parents took the girls with them to spend the night at their place so Julie and I had a date night. We went to the south side to eat out and go to a movie. We decided to watch The Blind Side, which many people have recommended to us as a must see. It really was a good movie, and I am hopeful that all of the young people that I work with are able to overcome difficult circumstances to become healthy and thriving adults (even if they don't become football stars). In one of the scenes from the movie, the young man serving as the main character is involved in a scuffle where gunshots are fired (thankfully he is not hit). That was probably the most dramatic scene of the movie. Julie and I went home and both experienced wierd dreams (don't movies do that to you?). At about 2:30am I was jolted out of sleep to the sound of gunfire that seemed to be right outside of our house. My heart raced, and I peeked out the window to watch as about five police cars circled my block in search of the culprit. I'm not sure if anyone was injured because I didn't hear anything on the news, but that was definitely the closest shots I've heard since we moved hear. I could not fall back asleep, so I read my Bible for a while. On that particular night, I read in Revelations about how Jesus wins... He comes back in power to claim the ultimate victory over all evil. I finally fell asleep with the thought in my head that God is in control, and in the end... God wins. We already know.

On Saturday we picked up the girls and went to a birthday party for one of the girls' friends in the suburbs. We had a great time, although I had a hard time forgetting about what what we had experienced over night. I don't think that anyone else at the party was quietly contemplating how to respond appropriately to gunshots (should I have called the cops... did anyone see me looking out the window... how can I keep my daughters safe from stray bullets). After the party I spent time with my one to one mentee in Homewood, and then we had a LAMP family over to our house for dinner. We had a great time connecting with them, and right after dinner five boys from the neighborhood stopped over to hang out. We had a full house as everyone visited for several hours. On that particular day our house felt like the hub of the community, with so many different people stopping by to visit. I think I answered some of my questions about the gunshots... this is what I'm supposed to be doing about the gunshots in Homewood. Maybe if the young people I interact with in Homewood grasp a positive alternative vision for their lives from a young age then they won't be interested in shooting guns a few years from now.

On Sunday we went to church at North Way Oakland, and then we had a nice relaxing afternoon. Then... more kids from the neighborhood stopped by. I can't wait until we have our basement finished! Then we can have more space for them. We were resourceful though... we played football in the school parking lot and then we all ate sloppy joes for dinner. After dinner I had the "boundaries" conversation with the boys (you can't come over every night)... don't know if it sunk in. We'll see.

All in all, it was an eventful Thanksgiving. We experienced community in the suburbs and in the city. We are building relationships with our neighbors. Kids' lives are being impacted by the work we're doing. That's always something to be thankful for.

A Work Day on Race Street

Last Saturday we helped a LAMP family with a work day at a house on Race Street in Homewood. Lots of volunteers made the event a big success. Thanks to everyone who contributed! You can still join us on the next two Saturdays as we paint and install flooring.

Downward Mobility

Lately, I have been trying to wrap my head and heart around Henri Nouwen's concept of downward mobility. He writes, "Our lives in this technological and highly competitive society are characterized by a pervasive drive for upward mobility. It is difficult for us to even imagine ourselves outside of this upwardly mobile lifestyle. Our whole way of living is structured around climbing the ladder of success and making it to the top... The story of salvation stands radically over and against the philosphy of upward mobility. The great paradox which Scripture reveals to us is that real and total freedom is only found through downward mobility. The Word of God came down to us and lived among us as a slave. The divine way is indeed the downward way... The disciple is the one who follows Jesus on his downward path and thus enters with him into new life. The gospel radically subverts the presuppositions of our upwardly mobile society. It is a jarring and unsettling challenge."

Because I was raised in an upwardly mobile society, it seems "normal" to me to be as successful as possible. I have a difficult time living out a downardly mobile lifestyle. For instance, I desired to move to Homewood probably a year before we actually made the move. I wrestled with it for a long time. There were probably several factors playing into that decision for us as a family, but I can attribute almost all of them to the lifestyle demands of upward mobility. For a long time, almost everything in my conscience was screaming, "No, you fool! You're going in the wrong direction! Get back in line! You're supposed to live in a nice, safe neighborhood with great schools... the kind of place where you can walk at night and feel safe. You need more money, a better paying job, a bigger house, and a nicer car." It sounds silly to me to generalize it like that, but it really was like that. I felt like the full weight of the American marketing machine was against me!

So what finally pushed me over the edge? God. Simply, God. Or as Nouwen said it, "The gospel radically subverts the presuppositions of our upwardly mobile society." Following God has "radically subverted" my comfortable lifestyle. I cannot say that I am a follower of Christ and then live out a lifestyle that aligns comfortably with the world. I still struggle with this on a daily basis, and I know the Western church is absolutely paralyzed by this issue at the moment. Often one cannot tell the difference between a Christian and a nonbeliever, or a church and a country club. Imagine what the body of Christ would be like in America if we truly embraced the radical calling of downward mobility that was modelled by our Saviour?

It's Alive!

In my men's group this morning we had some great discussions about the body of Christ. The church is an amazing organization. In fact, it is not just an organization... it is alive. Greg Ogden, the author of our group's curriculum, wrote, "When people in the body take responsibility before the Head to know and exercise their assigned functions, the church becomes a living organism." The body of Christ has endured for thousands of years, and it will endure for eternity.

When I first started with LAMP four years ago, for some reason it seemed to me that I needed to have a hand in everything that went on involving North Way and Homewood. I was present at just about everything, and was deeply involved in each match with each of the mentees. I was in the Homewood schools nearly every day. That system seemed to work well until something happened. We grew... fast! I initially formed a group of eight people to serve as a LAMP leadership team, and Family Guidance assumed a broader role in volunteer supervision and support. Now, there are many other churches involved in LAMP and much that goes on that I do not have a direct hand in guiding. Over 200 North Way members have been trained to mentor, and I am unable to stay intimately involved with each of the matches as I was in the beginning. This is such great news! As I look at LAMP now, I can truly see an example of how the body of Christ is fulfilling its function. So many different people are offering their unique gifts to one another and to their mentees and their families. I am always amazed to see people living out their callings.

I believe that it is in this place of interdependance that we find community. Authentic relationships develop out of shared experiences. I would gladly stand shoulder to shoulder with any one of the LAMP mentors in a battle because I know that they are for real. They stand in the gap for others, and they are dependant on God and others in the body to be sustained. Several people involved in LAMP are now my closest friends whom I depend on almost daily. Unfortunately, I also know many people who I would not want standing next to me in a battle. These are the posers... folks who are fronting. Lukewarm Christians. Cultural Christians whose lives look no different than those living in darkness. They may talk about the poor, or have great dreams of doing something big for the Kingdom. Their actions do not follow their words, and I would not trust them if my life was on the line. At the end of the day, they depend on themselves. Ogden wrote, "Independence and self-reliance are the enemies of community. Without vulnerability and an awareness of need there is no basis for community. Unfortunately, it is often in the church that we find the facade of having it all together."

Are you for real, or are you putting up a front for others? Are you in an authentic faith community, or are you going through the motions and depending on yourself to get by? As much community as I experience, I still yearn for more. God continually refines me to fight selfishness and embrace authenticity. I have a long way to go. If you were called to the front lines of the Great Battle (which we all are whether we know it or not), would you want me standing shoulder to shoulder with you?

Dealing With Drivenness

Although I believe that I have a generally calm personality, I am also a very driven person. That has its benefits sometimes, but it also gets me into trouble. Urban ministry issues are often very complex. Quick fixes and more effort do not necessarily yield immediate results in the lives of the young people that I work with in Homewood. In fact, sometimes the kids get worse before they get better. Also, mentoring is a seed planting ministry that is intended to lead to long term generational impact. I need to work hard, but sometimes the challenges are so many that I push myself too hard in order to try to achieve greater results or life change that I cannot really control.

This is also true on a personal level with me. The doctorate program that I am in should take five years to complete at a regular pace, and this morning I actually tried to convince Julie that I could do it in three years (even though we can't afford it at that pace and it would put a strain on the family). And it's not just that. At the end of the day, I'm often left with the feeling that I could have done more. More work... more fun... more time with Julie... more time with the girls... more time with friends... more time with God... more people over for dinner... more reading... more exercise... more blogging! In many cases for me, my drivenness leads to sin. I harm myself spiritually, physically, mentally, and socially when I take on too much. I harm others... often Julie and the girls bear the full brunt of my busyness and distraction.

So, what is the remedy for drivenness (or as I sometimes call it, adult onset ADD). Why do I have a hard time just resting, or sitting still, or not multitasking? It is tough to slow down when you are leading at full speed. I believe God desires for me to have a healthy "rhythm" to life. Many people call that balance, but have been learning through my classes that balance is not possible for leaders nor should it be something to be aspired to. The key is embracing joy in suffering. Leadership comes with a cost, and being a true follower of Christ often comes with suffering. God designed me a certain way, and the key is learning how to harness my "DNA" for good use by being disciplined. As a leader, I am always going to have many irons in the fire. I need to learn how to operate with loose ends, and urban ministry in particular is a constant reminder that I am never going to achieve some status in life where I am completely balanced.

What do you think? Is balance possible? Is being balanced actually being comfortable? Does God call us to be comfortable? Does God call us to embrace suffering?