Passivity or Aggression

Most men struggle with either passivity or over-aggression. As a result, the people in our lives often experience pain because we fail to act or we come on too strong. There is a strong connection between living out of our strength, that is... the strength that God gives us... and living out the masculine journey effectively. These choices to live appropriately out of our strength usually come at us daily. For instance, this morning my wife opened a letter from the company that cleaned and helped restore our basement after the flood last week. The bill was much bigger than we were anticipating, and several line items on the bill did not make sense. My wife was very upset, and as she talked to me about what we should do about the bill I could feel my sinful reactions coming on. The passive side of me wanted to just let it go, thinking that we're under enough pressure lately and this was just one more thing that wasn't worth the fight. The over-aggressive side of me wanted to write a mean letter, storm into the office building of the company that had done the injustice to my family, and cause a huge stir until the wrongs were fixed. Angry words filled my heart as I pictured in my mind what I would say. It's funny, though, in that intense conversation with my wife about what we could do, I could sense the enemy pouring flames on our discussion. He was trying to harm us. Whether it was through my sins of passivity or over-aggression, it seemed that the enemy was determined to get me one way or the other. I prayed quietly in my heart for Jesus to enter this situation. As my wife and I talked through our next steps, I offered to take care of contacting the company. As a man, I took some time to clear my thoughts, pray about the situation, and then engage. The key for every man in life is that we do choose to engage. I called the company and talked calmly to the right people, and in the end we were reimbursed for the areas that we had been overbilled. I think that I was able to resolve the situation without being too passive or too over-aggressive. I lived out of my strength, out of the strength that my wife and children need from me, but I was also able to respectully interact with the company representatives without becoming too angry. Nothing will make you feel more like a man than fighting against injustices in this world, whether they are personal or if they impact many people, and doing so effectively according to the masculine strength that God has given us. There is an epic, spiritual battle going on in this world, and we all have a part to play in it. That is why God needs men to follow his ways and pursue justice daily regardless of the outcomes. We cannot be effective in the battle if we are too passive or too aggressive.