Thursday, January 6, 2011

A Restored Relationship

I have shared in blog posts in recent months about a rough stretch that a boy from Homewood has been going through lately. He had been a frequent visitor to our house for about a year, and he was good friends with several boys in the LAMP program. His behavior was crazy when we first met him, but over time he really turned things around and he was a joy to be around. We kept telling him what a huge difference we had seen in him. He asked for a LAMP mentor, and I had actually found a mentor to match with him but his parent would not allow his son to be in the program. My friend was very disappointed that he could not have a LAMP mentor, but we were still able to spend time with him pretty frequently. Then, about two months ago he was expelled from his school in Homewood for discipline problems. He stopped by to visit Julie and I the day after he was expelled, and for some reason he threw rocks at my neighbors house and my neighbor caught him and gave him a stern reprimand. He stopped visiting us after that. In that same week, he was arrested for jumping someone in Homewood with one of his friends. After that, his relationships with his friends in the LAMP program broke down and things were very tense between them for a long time. I spent a lot of time trying to sort all of those issues out. It was so hard to watch this kid go through almost a total meltdown at the age of 13. Julie and I prayed for him a lot during that time. We know God still has a purpose and plan for his life, and we have felt so sad about losing the influence that God had given us in his life.

So... last night Julie was shocked when she pulled her car in front of our house to unload groceries and she heard, "Ms. Julie!!!" She couldn't see the face in the distance, but she knew that voice well. It was our long lost friend. He came strolling up to our house with one of the LAMP boys... one of the relationships that we knew had been previously strained. When we asked them what they were doing together, they said, "Oh... we worked it out. We're cool now." And, just like that, this kid was back in our lives again. The boys came in to our house and we fed them. I got to spend some good time with my long lost friend. It was a joyful reunion. We talked a little bit about where he had been and the trouble that he had been in, but we focused more on the community service he was doing and the ways that he intended to get things turned around. That stuff didn't matter to me, really. I'm glad he is back on track, but we all make mistakes (especially at a young age) and the important thing to me was that our friendship was restored.

My friend has a long path ahead of him, but I know without a doubt that God has a plan for all of the at-risk youth that we work with in Homewood. I know most people in American society probably want to avoid the kids that we work with at all costs, but most people don't see the kids as I see them. I see great potential. I see great hope. And, most of all, I see Jesus in them when I look at them. I know God loves them so much! And so, as a follower of Christ, I should see hope for a future in the eyes of the kids in Homewood instead of a future of death or incarceration. God wants to work through all of us, as Christians, to reach people who are on a path to destruction. It does not matter how nice our American Dream is... our good jobs, our nice houses and cars, our never ending need for more stuff and more success... if we stand by and watch people suffering and hurting when we could be a part of the solution to people's pain. We may not all be called to work with troubled youth in Homewood, but all Christians are called to be deeply engaged in the work of transformation in the lives of people who are hurting in our own cities and around the world.

2 comments:

Jason said...

Bryan, I was just talking to a friend about this stuff too. I was sharing in my middle school I work at our police officer (Yes, we have a f/t officer in our school) has the most arrests of any school and any officer in the police force. That's not something to brag about but I was telling my friend I make every effort to not refer a kid to him b/c I know at that moment his/her life will change forever. It saddens me to see students expelled and I often get in major arguments with my administrators when I refuse to sign an expulsion packet or when I write a letter to the hearing officer in support of the student.

These kids are not "BAD." They are misled and when they leave our company and return to their dysfunctional homes where they are often abused, hungry, and torn down it brings up such challenges. We can work with kids until we turn blue but my impression is that we also need to help parents. Does LAMP do any work with parents on parenting skills or healthy communication?

Bryan McCabe said...

Most of LAMP's focus is on mentoring the kids, although we work with parents a lot through our relationships. What you are describing is so key. Troubled youth need to have adults in their lives who advocate for them, no matter how much trouble they may get themselves into. Also, there is no one, simple solution to the issues facing modern young people. Their needs are complex, and the responses to meeting those needs should be comprehensive and well-designed. Otherwise we may just be spinning our wheels.