During this Thanksgiving holiday, many of us celebrate with our families and friends about the things that we are thankful for. My life has been filled with lots of things to be thankful for, and that is still true this year. I am thankful that God has given me 34 amazing years on this earth. God has blessed me with a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters. I am so thankful for the life-changing doctor of ministry program at BGU. God has called me to live and work in Homewood, and I feel fortunate to be able to invest in such an incredible community. I have many treasured relationships with kids in Homewood, and it has been a joy to watch as the boys that I have invested in grow into young men with tremendous promise in life.
While I am thankful for many things, my mentees have taught me to be thankful for some of the most basic things in life. One of my mentees is especially thankful just to be alive and to have a bed to sleep on. Seriously, his older brother and his uncle were both killed within the past six months. At 15 years old, he is now the man of the family and he sees every day of life that God gives him as a bonus. He shares one small bedroom with his mother and older sister in a house where a family has temporarily taken them in until they can get back on their feet. They have been sleeping on the floor since they moved there, and last week I was able to find a twin bed for him so now he has a bed to sleep on. Another one of my mentees is thankful for a roof over his head and for the sacrificial love of a woman who has taken him in. For the past year or so he has been basically homeless, bouncing around from house to house of extended family members and friends. A single mom of one of his best friends, a woman who struggles with addiction problems of her own and who has very little to even provide for her own son, has opened up her home to my mentee and allowed him sleep on the floor at her house whenever he needs a place to stay. There is little food in the house for three meals each day for three people (especially when two are growing boys), but she shares all that she has with my mentee. My mentee is thankful for her love this year.
Some people might look at the lives of my mentees and see only their tremendous needs. When I look at my mentees, I see their incredible assets. My two friends have resilience and courage. Both have entered into relationships with God, and they depend on God to get them through each day. They have a lot going for them, even though they have very little materially in this life. And so I am celebrating Thanksgiving this year, and I may be most thankful for the investment that God has opened the door for me to make in the hearts and minds of young people who are struggling in Homewood. When my mentees invite me to share in their journeys filled with struggles, I just continue to be stretched and challenged by their passion for life in the midst of difficult circumstances. Like my mentees, I am now thankful for the simple things in life. I have a roof over my head, a bed to sleep on, and plenty of food to share with my family (and lots of kids from my neighborhood who I've had the great privilege to share my table with). Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Moving From Charity to Relationships and Justice
In America, we are in that time of year when many people like to become charitable. Generosity abounds for such things as toy drives and dinners for the homeless. The holidays encourage many ordinary folks to be compassionate to people in need. There are many great outcomes from such acts of generosity, so I certainly do not want to discourage anyone from being compassionate at this time of year. However, in America there is much more that Christians can be doing not just during the holidays but throughout the year.
God calls Christians to be in meaningful relationships with people in need throughout the year. For instance, when a person sees a homeless person begging for money they might ask themselves questions like, "Should I give them money or not? How will they spend the money that I give them? Should I make eye contact with them and say hi, or keep looking forward and walk past them?" Instead, I think the bigger questions that a Christian in that situation might ask themselves should be, "Why am I struggling with what to do when I encounter a homeless person? Do I have any meaningful, long term relationships with any homeless people? Have I distanced myself from the poor? If God calls us to love people who are suffering and struggling in this world, then what can I do to rearrange some things in my life so that I can actually be obedient to that call throughout the year?"
Entering into relationships with people who are in desperate need is difficult, but that type of activity is not optional for Christians. We do not get to pick and choose if we want to help people in need. It's part of following Christ. Many American Christians distance themselves from the poor and then simply give money or food during one holiday stretch each year. Instead, we should be invested in authentic relationships with widows, orphans, homeless people, and people living in poverty throughout the year. We must overcome our fears. We must overcome our complacency and comfort. We must overcome the structures in society that keep us separated from people in need. We must enter into people's pain through relationships... not just lob money at them from a safe distance with no relational connection. Many Christians in America need to move beyond charity and start advocating powerfully and justly on behalf of the people in need with whom they have entered into relationships.
And, Christians must move even beyond individual relational justice to address the broader systemic injustices that keep people living in cycles of despair. That's a very unpopular position to be in, upsetting the status quo, and Christians will experience suffering of their own when they wade into that territory. But it's what we are ALL called to do. Dom Helder Camara wrote, "We must go beyond 'aid' or 'charity' and demand justice which will bring peace. Many people falter at this point. He who asks the powerful to give aid to the poor, or helps the poor himself by being imprudent enough, or bold enough, to mention these or those rights or demands this or that justice, is regarded as a splendid man, a saint. But he who chooses to demand justice generally, seeking to change structures that reduce millions of God's children to slavery, must expect his words to be distorted, to be libeled and slaundered, viewed with disfavor by governments, perhaps imprisoned, tortured, killed... But this is the eighth beatitude: 'Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad for your reward is great in heaven, for so many persecuted prophets who were before you."
God calls Christians to be in meaningful relationships with people in need throughout the year. For instance, when a person sees a homeless person begging for money they might ask themselves questions like, "Should I give them money or not? How will they spend the money that I give them? Should I make eye contact with them and say hi, or keep looking forward and walk past them?" Instead, I think the bigger questions that a Christian in that situation might ask themselves should be, "Why am I struggling with what to do when I encounter a homeless person? Do I have any meaningful, long term relationships with any homeless people? Have I distanced myself from the poor? If God calls us to love people who are suffering and struggling in this world, then what can I do to rearrange some things in my life so that I can actually be obedient to that call throughout the year?"
Entering into relationships with people who are in desperate need is difficult, but that type of activity is not optional for Christians. We do not get to pick and choose if we want to help people in need. It's part of following Christ. Many American Christians distance themselves from the poor and then simply give money or food during one holiday stretch each year. Instead, we should be invested in authentic relationships with widows, orphans, homeless people, and people living in poverty throughout the year. We must overcome our fears. We must overcome our complacency and comfort. We must overcome the structures in society that keep us separated from people in need. We must enter into people's pain through relationships... not just lob money at them from a safe distance with no relational connection. Many Christians in America need to move beyond charity and start advocating powerfully and justly on behalf of the people in need with whom they have entered into relationships.
And, Christians must move even beyond individual relational justice to address the broader systemic injustices that keep people living in cycles of despair. That's a very unpopular position to be in, upsetting the status quo, and Christians will experience suffering of their own when they wade into that territory. But it's what we are ALL called to do. Dom Helder Camara wrote, "We must go beyond 'aid' or 'charity' and demand justice which will bring peace. Many people falter at this point. He who asks the powerful to give aid to the poor, or helps the poor himself by being imprudent enough, or bold enough, to mention these or those rights or demands this or that justice, is regarded as a splendid man, a saint. But he who chooses to demand justice generally, seeking to change structures that reduce millions of God's children to slavery, must expect his words to be distorted, to be libeled and slaundered, viewed with disfavor by governments, perhaps imprisoned, tortured, killed... But this is the eighth beatitude: 'Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad for your reward is great in heaven, for so many persecuted prophets who were before you."
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
A Lost Wallet: The Classic Opportunity to Demonstrate Character
One of the volunteers who helped out with the basketball outreach program at the Homewood-Brushton YMCA last night contacted me late last night to let me know that he had lost his wallet at the Y. He asked me if I could check in at the Y this morning to see if anyone had turned his wallet in to the front desk. He really wanted to believe that if one of the kids had found it, they would have done the right thing and given it to a staff person at the Y. I wanted to believe that too, because he is a relatively new volunteer with kids in Homewood and I didn't want him to get a negative impression of the kids in case one of them had been tempted by the wallet and decided to take it.
There are a lot of LAMP kids in the basketball program at the Y, and as mentors we hope to instill good character in our mentees. I was praying last night and this morning that maybe a LAMP mentee had found the wallet. Sure enough, before I even had the opportunity to go over to the Y this morning, my doorbell rang early and I opened my front door to find a LAMP mentee and his mother standing there in the early morning cold. He got a big smile on his face and he said, "Mr. B... I found this wallet outside the Y last night. I tried to turn it in to the front desk, but the Y was already closed. I took it home with me last night to give it to my mom so we could keep it safe and give it to you in the morning." I was so proud of him! The little guy is in LAMP, but he also spends a lot of time hanging out at our house with his little brother (they're friends with my daughters).
I was grateful for the opportunity to thank he and his mom, and I was especially excited to call my friend to let him know his wallet had been found. He was ecstatic! And he'll get the chance to thank our young friend in person next Tuesday. He told me, "These kids in Homewood, and your LAMP mentees, continue to surprise me with how well-behaved they are when they are at the basketball program. And this return of the wallet is just one more example of the seeds of character that LAMP is building in them." I'll have to make sure I pass the kudos on to my young friend's LAMP mentor. This story is just one small example, but there are many good people investing in young people in Homewood (not just LAMP) and I can really tell that all of those combined efforts are making a difference.
There are a lot of LAMP kids in the basketball program at the Y, and as mentors we hope to instill good character in our mentees. I was praying last night and this morning that maybe a LAMP mentee had found the wallet. Sure enough, before I even had the opportunity to go over to the Y this morning, my doorbell rang early and I opened my front door to find a LAMP mentee and his mother standing there in the early morning cold. He got a big smile on his face and he said, "Mr. B... I found this wallet outside the Y last night. I tried to turn it in to the front desk, but the Y was already closed. I took it home with me last night to give it to my mom so we could keep it safe and give it to you in the morning." I was so proud of him! The little guy is in LAMP, but he also spends a lot of time hanging out at our house with his little brother (they're friends with my daughters).
I was grateful for the opportunity to thank he and his mom, and I was especially excited to call my friend to let him know his wallet had been found. He was ecstatic! And he'll get the chance to thank our young friend in person next Tuesday. He told me, "These kids in Homewood, and your LAMP mentees, continue to surprise me with how well-behaved they are when they are at the basketball program. And this return of the wallet is just one more example of the seeds of character that LAMP is building in them." I'll have to make sure I pass the kudos on to my young friend's LAMP mentor. This story is just one small example, but there are many good people investing in young people in Homewood (not just LAMP) and I can really tell that all of those combined efforts are making a difference.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Too Many Kids... or Not Enough Mentors?
Last Monday Julie and I had around 50 kids in our living room for our Monday night dinner at our house. We finally determined that the crew is too big for our house, so we have officially ended Monday Night Madness in Homewood. We have invited all of the kids instead to attend the Tuesday night basketball outreach at the YMCA in Homewood on Tuesday nights from 6-8pm, and many of the kids have made the switch so we'll be able to keep those relationships going (only with more space). Many of our Monday night group of kids are frequent visitors to our home anyway, so I think we'll still be able to impact a lot of the kids... maybe even more effectively now that we don't have to do crowd control.
Of course, the best solution would be for us to be able to find mentors for each of the kids, but there simply are not enough mentors available right now. That problem is not unique to LAMP, though. I read an article recently that pointed out that there are 3 million people in America formally matched as mentors, but there are still 15 million children who want or need mentors in this country. That's crazy, especially when you consider how much time adults who could be serving as mentors waste doing mindless things like watching TV or playing video games (or maybe working too much to be able to invest time into the children in their communities). Whatever the reason, 15 million children waiting for a mentor is unacceptable. I would love to see that waiting list of children come to an end in my lifetime. Sounds like a cause worth fighting for!
Of course, the best solution would be for us to be able to find mentors for each of the kids, but there simply are not enough mentors available right now. That problem is not unique to LAMP, though. I read an article recently that pointed out that there are 3 million people in America formally matched as mentors, but there are still 15 million children who want or need mentors in this country. That's crazy, especially when you consider how much time adults who could be serving as mentors waste doing mindless things like watching TV or playing video games (or maybe working too much to be able to invest time into the children in their communities). Whatever the reason, 15 million children waiting for a mentor is unacceptable. I would love to see that waiting list of children come to an end in my lifetime. Sounds like a cause worth fighting for!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Learning About Cities
I'm flying home from NYC today. Can't wait to see my girls! I was able to rest and get some great work done on the dissertation. I had some amazing conversations with my little sister, Cameron, who is also in seminary right now. She is taking a course called The Church in the Urban World, and so she is really having her eyes opened to how God is moving globally and through cities around the world. We live in an era where many Christians are confused and anxious about the global, pluralistic, urban complexities of life, so well-meaning people are attempting to build comfortable little Christian bubbles for themselves to escape from the world. I believe that instead of running away from the complexity of modern society, Christians should be educating and equipping themselves to run full speed ahead into the areas where God is moving globally. Christians should become experts on cities because God is rapidly urbanizing the world. Christians who choose to run away from the complexities of urban life will probably be ill-equipped to reach people for Christ in the 21st century. God stretched me this week in NYC, but now I know how to navigate another city! One more step in the right direction.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Day Three of Study Break
New York is such an amazing city. I'm really enjoying myself here, and yesterday I completed about two weeks worth of studying in one day. Not too bad! I may just be able to do this whole dissertation thing after all. I love getting to know the new sights and sounds of cities. Every city has a personality of its own. Even here in Brooklyn, this area has a much different feel than Manhattan. I'm trying to relax a lot and study a lot, but I can't help myself from doing one exercise that I've learned to do through my studies at BGU. When I walk through a city for the first time to explore, I intentionally look for signs of hope and signs of need in the community. I view city streets as holy ground, and I try to find where the Holy Spirit might be working in vulnerable places and in powerful places. I like to pray as I walk sometimes for people and places that I see. Much happens in cities that impacts the rest of the world, so it is important for Christians to engage cities in many different and creative ways. Plus, exploring new cities is so fun and interesting. I am thankful that God has given me an urban lens with which to view the world that I never really had until about five years ago. I have a lot of exploring to do as an adult... there are over 500 cities in the world with at least a million people. I've got my work cut out for me!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Study Break!
I am having a great time studying today in Brooklyn. It is often difficult for me to get quiet time in Pittsburgh due to the demands of urban ministry, so I am having a blast bouncing around different coffee houses in NY this week. I had the opportunity to speak about urban ministry at the Alliance Theological Seminary last night. It was a great group of around 60 students who asked some incredible questions about how to be effective urban ministry practitioners. We talked about transformation, incarnational leadership, and relationship building through mentoring as a strategy for impacting at-risk urban youth. I could talk about those topics all day! Well... back to more studying.
Monday, November 15, 2010
A Busy Week... and a Week of Rest
Last week was a busy week. Last Sunday night we hosted a small group from North Way at our little house in Homewood. I facilitated the discussion time with 17 adults while everyone's kids played in our basement. Last Monday I did a LAMP mentoring training for new mentors during the day, I had lunch in the afternoon with my three school-based mentees at the Faison Intermediate School, then 30+ kids from our neighborhood came over to our house for dinner and fun that night. When the kids left the house, I broke up a dispute on the streets between two of the kids before making my way over to the Faison Primary School in Homewood for a LAMP cultural training. On Tuesday I had a Bible study in the morning and a full day of meetings. That night I helped my friends launch a new basketball program for kids in Homewood at the local YMCA. Over 30 kids showed up for that, and I had a great time introducing my friends to the kids that I have spent the past five years building relationships with. On Wednesday I had meetings all day once again, and another LAMP mentoring training at North Way Oakland that night. On Thursday I took two of my mentees to work with me since they were off school that day. They shadowed me the whole day (OK it wasn't all work... we played arena football in the Worship Cafe section of the church and we played basketball in the kids space). The boys wore me out during the day, but I still managed to take my daughters on dates that night. On Friday I worked on my dissertation all day and that night I attended the Family Guidance annual dinner fundraiser with one of my mentees who shared his story with a few hundred people at the Omni William Penn hotel downtown (my wife and my mentee's girlfriend also attended). On Saturday, I facilitated two mentoring workshops at the OrphanCare Expo in Wexford. By the time Saturday afternoon hit I was so tired! Thankfully, Sunday was a great family day and I was able to invest in Julie and the girls. I took Kyra and Sierra on dates, I studied a little last night, and then I watched the Steeler game with my dad. Sunday was a great day!
Reflection is extremely important for transformational leaders. As I reflect on last week, my first thought is that there is no way I can keep up that pace. And I don't plan to. I will burn out, and fast, if I have too many weeks like that. I was not really able to have any time to take care of myself, or invest in my marriage, or get quality time with my daughters. This past week was a week where I gave a lot away to others, but I did not do much to sustain myself. I was able to deeply invest in six boys that I am mentoring, and I also relationally impacted probably 40 or 50 other kids in Homewood. I helped to launch a new basketball program in Homewood. Through mentoring trainings, seminars, and the fundraising dinner I was able to share about the powerful message of mentoring at-risk youth to hundreds of people in several different areas of Pittsburgh. However, in times of tremendous outputs of energy on behalf of great causes, leaders must also rest and withdraw in order to connect with God and find joy and replenishment in the midst of helping others. That's why I'm going to New York City this week. I'm taking a rest from everything. Many people like to find peace and quiet in wilderness when they get away, but I often like to go to other cities. I love to explore cities, and I seem to be able to connect with God and find rest there.
I cannot focus on the grind of urban ministry all of the time. Reaching tough kids in Homewood is difficult work. Mobilizing Christians to become mentors is difficult work. Quality time away from this work is important. So what am I hoping for in my time away this week? I think I'm looking for what Howard Thurman referred to as God's "penetrating beauty and meaning." Thurman said, "There must be always remaining in every man's life some place for the singing of angels, some place for that which in itself is breathlessly beautiful and, by inherent prerogative, throws all the rest of life into a new and creative relatedness, something that gathers up in itself all the freshets of experience from drab and commonplace areas of living and glows in one bright white light of penetrating beauty and meaning - then passes. The commonplace is shot through with new glory; old burdens become lighter; deep and ancient wounds lose much of their old, old hurting. A crown is placed over our heads that for the rest of our lives we are trying to grow tall enough to wear. Despite all the crassness of life, despite all the hardness of life, despite all the harsh discords of life, life is saved by the singing of angels." - Deep is the Hunger
Reflection is extremely important for transformational leaders. As I reflect on last week, my first thought is that there is no way I can keep up that pace. And I don't plan to. I will burn out, and fast, if I have too many weeks like that. I was not really able to have any time to take care of myself, or invest in my marriage, or get quality time with my daughters. This past week was a week where I gave a lot away to others, but I did not do much to sustain myself. I was able to deeply invest in six boys that I am mentoring, and I also relationally impacted probably 40 or 50 other kids in Homewood. I helped to launch a new basketball program in Homewood. Through mentoring trainings, seminars, and the fundraising dinner I was able to share about the powerful message of mentoring at-risk youth to hundreds of people in several different areas of Pittsburgh. However, in times of tremendous outputs of energy on behalf of great causes, leaders must also rest and withdraw in order to connect with God and find joy and replenishment in the midst of helping others. That's why I'm going to New York City this week. I'm taking a rest from everything. Many people like to find peace and quiet in wilderness when they get away, but I often like to go to other cities. I love to explore cities, and I seem to be able to connect with God and find rest there.
I cannot focus on the grind of urban ministry all of the time. Reaching tough kids in Homewood is difficult work. Mobilizing Christians to become mentors is difficult work. Quality time away from this work is important. So what am I hoping for in my time away this week? I think I'm looking for what Howard Thurman referred to as God's "penetrating beauty and meaning." Thurman said, "There must be always remaining in every man's life some place for the singing of angels, some place for that which in itself is breathlessly beautiful and, by inherent prerogative, throws all the rest of life into a new and creative relatedness, something that gathers up in itself all the freshets of experience from drab and commonplace areas of living and glows in one bright white light of penetrating beauty and meaning - then passes. The commonplace is shot through with new glory; old burdens become lighter; deep and ancient wounds lose much of their old, old hurting. A crown is placed over our heads that for the rest of our lives we are trying to grow tall enough to wear. Despite all the crassness of life, despite all the hardness of life, despite all the harsh discords of life, life is saved by the singing of angels." - Deep is the Hunger
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Art of Apologies
I arrived home after 10pm ast night to find two kids from my neighborhood being sternly reprimanded by my neighbors on the sidewalk in front of my house. My neighbors are great people, and they are often very gracious with us in their patience for the constant flow of kids from Homewood who are in and out of our house. Last night, apparently, two kids that Julie and I know very well decided to visit us around 9:45pm, but instead of walking up to our front door to ring our doorbell they thought it would be funny to sneak up on our house and surprise us. They crept around my neighbors yard, hopped his fence and I guess they tried to throw stuff at our house to get our attention. My neighbor caught them in the midst of their actions, which were admittedly not very well thought out by my 14 year old friends. They were receiving an earful when I arrived on the scene. I did my best to calm everyone down. I walked the kids most of the way back to where they lived and we talked about how it was probably not a good idea to be creeping around peoples' houses at night anymore, even if they were just trying to play a joke on us. When I walked back to my house, my neighbors were still out on the sidewalk talking to my wife. I apologized as best as I could for the whole situation, and I thanked them for being such great neighbors and for being so patient with us in our work in trying to impact young people in Homewood. I intentionally try to reach kids that are at risk... the ones that society would describe at "bad." For some reason God has gifted me with the ability and desire to build relationships with troubled youth. I've been working with kids like that for the past fifteen years. Over the course of that amount of time, I've had to deliver countless difficult apologies while standing next to kids who made bad decisions or caused some type of trouble.
I think I'm starting to get good at the art of apologizing in strange situtations. Apologizing is never fun to do, and I think most people stop working with troubled youth after they've been embarrassed once or twice. But for me, the embarrassing moments serve as a starting point of sorts in the relationships that I try to develop with tough kids. They are teachable moments. I am thankful for teachable moments because they generate tremendous growth in the relationships I have with kids. Also, often people only see the negative things that at-risk youth do. I have the great privelege to be able to see all of the positive things that the kids do as well. I've been able to be a part of amazing breakthroughs and kids being able to courageously overcome life circumstances that might stand to take out any young person. In my experience, the moments of breakthrough far outweigh the number of embarrassing apologies that I have to deliver. And so I keep on doing what I do, and I keep practicing the fine art of apologies.
I think I'm starting to get good at the art of apologizing in strange situtations. Apologizing is never fun to do, and I think most people stop working with troubled youth after they've been embarrassed once or twice. But for me, the embarrassing moments serve as a starting point of sorts in the relationships that I try to develop with tough kids. They are teachable moments. I am thankful for teachable moments because they generate tremendous growth in the relationships I have with kids. Also, often people only see the negative things that at-risk youth do. I have the great privelege to be able to see all of the positive things that the kids do as well. I've been able to be a part of amazing breakthroughs and kids being able to courageously overcome life circumstances that might stand to take out any young person. In my experience, the moments of breakthrough far outweigh the number of embarrassing apologies that I have to deliver. And so I keep on doing what I do, and I keep practicing the fine art of apologies.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Basketball Outreach
Tonight was a great night in Homewood. Some good friends of mine have been wanting to start up a basketball program for kids in Homewood for a while. Tonight was scheduled to be the official kick-off of the new basketball program with an open gym at the YMCA, pizza, and a discussion about living life in a relationship with God. I helped to spread the word with a lot of kids over the past couple of days, and I was so excited when 30 boys showed up to play basketball tonight! My friends did a great job building relationships with them, and I'm pretty sure that the word will get out and the group will probably grow next week.
It's way too early to call this basketball program a "success." Many groups have tried and failed to connect with kids in Homewood through sports outreach (there are also people who have been very successful for years at reaching young people in Homewood with sports outreach). I am encouraged by this particular outreach, though, because it is based on authentic relationships. I have spent the past five years building relationships with most of the 30 young men that attended tonight, and I have spent the past two years building relationships with the men who showed up to run the basketball program for the kids. It was a joy for me to watch as the kids met most of the adults for the first time... resilient kids that I admire for many reasons, and men of integrity that I admire for many reasons. New relationships were formed tonight. It was great!
It's way too early to call this basketball program a "success." Many groups have tried and failed to connect with kids in Homewood through sports outreach (there are also people who have been very successful for years at reaching young people in Homewood with sports outreach). I am encouraged by this particular outreach, though, because it is based on authentic relationships. I have spent the past five years building relationships with most of the 30 young men that attended tonight, and I have spent the past two years building relationships with the men who showed up to run the basketball program for the kids. It was a joy for me to watch as the kids met most of the adults for the first time... resilient kids that I admire for many reasons, and men of integrity that I admire for many reasons. New relationships were formed tonight. It was great!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Waiting For Superman
I finally had the chance to see the film Waiting For Superman. If you have not seen the movie, please go see it! It is still out in some theaters, and I assume will be out on video soon. If you have seen the movie, post a comment to tell me what you thought about it. The basic premise of the movie is that the American education system is failing millions of students. Most of those children are minority students who live in cities and rural areas that are socioeconomically distressed. The film shines the light on many reasons for why those school districts are failing to meet the needs of their students, but it also highlights schools that are actually effectively reaching socioeconomically disadvantaged children regardless of the students' level of poverty, blight in their neighborhood, or family structure. And the effective schools now have a proven track record of success over time.
The movie proves something that I believe very strongly in... that all children can learn and become contributing members of society regardless of their environment. Efforts to change the health of kids' families and their physical living conditions are still important, but kids can benefit from a good education regardless of the their needs. Research now proves that. Kids do learn when schools have effective teachers, strong and effective school leadership, plenty of support and intervention, high standards, and meaningful accountability. I have spent my entire professional career working with socioeconomically disadvantaged students... first as a public school teacher and administrator for six years in California, and now as a coordinator of a mentoring program that impacts public school students. I have first hand knowledge and experience that has taught me that all students can learn, but I also have seen how students are let down when things don't go like they are supposed to.
I've said this many times, but one of the best things people can do to support kids in their development is to mentor them. I love the LAMP concept because it focuses on kids in Homewood.who are falling behind in the local public schools at an age when intevention and support is critical for them. Research shows that nationwide, 88% of children who have a mentor for at least one year go on to attend college. That's not a typo. If LAMP holds up to the standards of an effective mentoring program, then 88% of the children we mentor in Homewood will attend college. I have the education and I have been certified to be a school site principal, so people often ask me why I don't try to change things in Pittsburgh by becoming a school principal. My answer is that I believe very strongly that mentoring provides profound intervention in the lives of troubled youth. My energy has always focused on at-risk youth, and I believe I can reach at-risk students in a much more powerful way by mentoring them over a long period of time. I am mentoring lots of kids, and LAMP in general is reaching lots of kids. It is a joy to watch the kids persevere over time, and hopefully all of the kids who are being mentored will graduate from high school and go on to college or vocational school. Time will tell, but in the mean time at least the kids don't have to wait for superman.
The movie proves something that I believe very strongly in... that all children can learn and become contributing members of society regardless of their environment. Efforts to change the health of kids' families and their physical living conditions are still important, but kids can benefit from a good education regardless of the their needs. Research now proves that. Kids do learn when schools have effective teachers, strong and effective school leadership, plenty of support and intervention, high standards, and meaningful accountability. I have spent my entire professional career working with socioeconomically disadvantaged students... first as a public school teacher and administrator for six years in California, and now as a coordinator of a mentoring program that impacts public school students. I have first hand knowledge and experience that has taught me that all students can learn, but I also have seen how students are let down when things don't go like they are supposed to.
I've said this many times, but one of the best things people can do to support kids in their development is to mentor them. I love the LAMP concept because it focuses on kids in Homewood.who are falling behind in the local public schools at an age when intevention and support is critical for them. Research shows that nationwide, 88% of children who have a mentor for at least one year go on to attend college. That's not a typo. If LAMP holds up to the standards of an effective mentoring program, then 88% of the children we mentor in Homewood will attend college. I have the education and I have been certified to be a school site principal, so people often ask me why I don't try to change things in Pittsburgh by becoming a school principal. My answer is that I believe very strongly that mentoring provides profound intervention in the lives of troubled youth. My energy has always focused on at-risk youth, and I believe I can reach at-risk students in a much more powerful way by mentoring them over a long period of time. I am mentoring lots of kids, and LAMP in general is reaching lots of kids. It is a joy to watch the kids persevere over time, and hopefully all of the kids who are being mentored will graduate from high school and go on to college or vocational school. Time will tell, but in the mean time at least the kids don't have to wait for superman.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Why Move to Homewood?
Often when I meet people for the first time and we ask each other easy questions to get to know one another, I am asked where I live. When I say "Homewood" to a person from Pittsburgh, they usually get a funny look on their face and begin a series of curious follow up questions about what it's like to live in Homewood and why I would choose to raise my family there. This line of questioning happened to me several times this week. Admittedly, when we first moved to Homewood I was not prepared to answer those questions. I tried to awkwardly explain leadership and urban ministry theories that I had heard about and was trying to implement. I had a hard time trying to explain my calling. But now, having lived in Homewood for a couple years, I am much more prepared to discuss our reasons for moving here. It's much easier to explain now because what God put on my heart two years ago has much more clarity in hindsight. We have seen amazing things happen since we moved to Homewood, and I have all kinds of stories and experiences that I can share with people to back up the leadership and urban ministry theories that I studied prior to our move.
The biggest reason we moved to Homewood was because it was something God clearly called us to do as a family, and we decided to be obedient to God's call on our lives. God often requires Christians to give up the smaller stories of control, comfort, and safety that we try to engineer for ourselves in order to live in God's Story which often involves risk, downward mobility, and perhaps most importantly, love... love of God and love for our neighbors and love for our enemies, not just love for ourselves and our nuclear families. God's mission to humankind is much, much bigger than the American Dream. As a Christian, my biggest goal is to live in God's Story. God is moving in Homewood, and I'm simply joining his work there.
Another big reason we moved to Homewood was the relationships we had with kids and their families in Homewood. If people knew the kids in Homewood like Julie and I do, then I think a lot more people would start moving to Homewood. Most people in Pittsburgh choose to intentionally avoid going to Homewood at all costs, so they never have the opportunity to meet people in Homewood. They are missing out! A lot of kids in Homewood have many needs, but they also have tremendous courage, resilience, desire, humor, and many, many other assets that can be built upon. I could talk about how to run effective programs all day, but programs don't make a person want to move to Homewood. I could share the reasoning behind why all leaders in Homewood should move into the neighborhood, but leadership principles don't compel a person to want to move to Homewood. I could explain God's heart for reaching vulnerable people in cities, but urban ministry strategies don't cause a person to want to move to Homewood. Deep, meaningful, authentic, long term relationships with people are what make a person want to move to Homewood. Our move to Homewood is all about relationships... with God and with our neighbors.
The biggest reason we moved to Homewood was because it was something God clearly called us to do as a family, and we decided to be obedient to God's call on our lives. God often requires Christians to give up the smaller stories of control, comfort, and safety that we try to engineer for ourselves in order to live in God's Story which often involves risk, downward mobility, and perhaps most importantly, love... love of God and love for our neighbors and love for our enemies, not just love for ourselves and our nuclear families. God's mission to humankind is much, much bigger than the American Dream. As a Christian, my biggest goal is to live in God's Story. God is moving in Homewood, and I'm simply joining his work there.
Another big reason we moved to Homewood was the relationships we had with kids and their families in Homewood. If people knew the kids in Homewood like Julie and I do, then I think a lot more people would start moving to Homewood. Most people in Pittsburgh choose to intentionally avoid going to Homewood at all costs, so they never have the opportunity to meet people in Homewood. They are missing out! A lot of kids in Homewood have many needs, but they also have tremendous courage, resilience, desire, humor, and many, many other assets that can be built upon. I could talk about how to run effective programs all day, but programs don't make a person want to move to Homewood. I could share the reasoning behind why all leaders in Homewood should move into the neighborhood, but leadership principles don't compel a person to want to move to Homewood. I could explain God's heart for reaching vulnerable people in cities, but urban ministry strategies don't cause a person to want to move to Homewood. Deep, meaningful, authentic, long term relationships with people are what make a person want to move to Homewood. Our move to Homewood is all about relationships... with God and with our neighbors.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Two Courageous Kids
Last summer an organization called Christian Sports International held a free baseball clinic in Homewood. A friend of mine told me about it, and I rounded up as many kids as I could to take them to it. The whole experience at the baseball clinic was great! The kids had the opportunity to practice their athletic skills with a bunch of former major league players, and several of the kids responed to former major leaguer Sid Bream's invitation to ask Jesus into their hearts. The president of CSI, Scott Grinder, asked me if I would bring a couple of the kids who attended the baseball clinic to share about their experience with the people attending CSI's annual fundraising dinner which was held last night at a fancy hotel north of Pittsburgh.
The whole evening last night presented many opportunities for me to speak into the boys' lives having built strong mentoring relationships with them over the past five years. I worked with them on dressing up for attending a fundraising event. I coached them on the basics of public speaking (this was their first time doing that... it happened to be in front of an audience of hundreds of people that they had never met before). We talked about the fine art of mingling with new people... such things as shaking hands and asking good questions to get conversations started. After dinner, the boys went up in front of everyone and shared their testimonies. They were absolutely incredible! After several rounds of applause, they settled into their roles as celebrities for the rest of the evening. They actually spoke to the crowd right before Steelers Hall of Famer John Stallworth, and he opened his speech by commenting about the courage that the boys had for sharing their stories publicly at such a young age. The auction portion of the event went kind of late, so we tried to sneak out so that I could get the boys home at a reasonable hour. John Stallworth noticed, and he also slipped out to shake each of the boys' hands and congratulate them on their newly discovered communication skills. Many people went out of their way to encourage the boys. They both told me, "Mr. B, we could get used to this!"
Earlier in the evening, both of the boys had told me about some small financial needs that they had and they were wondering if they were going to be paid for speaking. I told them that they were speaking at this event for free, although they would get a really good steak dinner out of the deal. I told them, though, that God knows about every need they have and that they could trust God to take care of them. As we were leaving the event, a woman slipped out of the event, made her way directly over to the boys, and she handed them each a small amount of money because "they were so couragous for sharing their stories." Their faces lit up, and they gave her a big hug and said "Thank you!" She didn't know it, but the money she gave them was God's way of meeting their financial needs that they had discussed with me earlier in the evening. We had some great conversations on the car ride back to Homewood, even though we had to stop at McD's because apparently banquet food isn't quite enough to fill up the stomachs of growing kids.
I have had the opportunity to experience so many amazing things as a mentor. Mentoring is always an adventure! Mentoring has allowed me the opportunity to shake hands with NFL Hall of Famers, and enjoy Pittsburgh Penguins games in luxury box suites with CEOs of major companies. Mentoring has allowed me the opportunity to play street football in Homewood while dodging passing cars and pick up trash at community service events. I've raced go karts, and I've shared meals in my mentees' homes. Whether it's at high profile events or the streets of Homewood, mentoring is all about building consistent relationships over time. Special events are great, but what was most significant about the event last night to me was watching my young friends take a risk and come through the whole experience with a new sense of confidence. They weren't in their homes playing video games, or running the streets of Homewood throwing rocks at abandoned row homes. They were trying new experiences that will help to shape them into the kind of men that will do amazing things with their lives. That's the best mentoring experience that anyone could ever have. I really admire their courage and resilience. Sometimes I think I learn much more from my mentees than they do from me. I guess that's the magic of mentoring.
The whole evening last night presented many opportunities for me to speak into the boys' lives having built strong mentoring relationships with them over the past five years. I worked with them on dressing up for attending a fundraising event. I coached them on the basics of public speaking (this was their first time doing that... it happened to be in front of an audience of hundreds of people that they had never met before). We talked about the fine art of mingling with new people... such things as shaking hands and asking good questions to get conversations started. After dinner, the boys went up in front of everyone and shared their testimonies. They were absolutely incredible! After several rounds of applause, they settled into their roles as celebrities for the rest of the evening. They actually spoke to the crowd right before Steelers Hall of Famer John Stallworth, and he opened his speech by commenting about the courage that the boys had for sharing their stories publicly at such a young age. The auction portion of the event went kind of late, so we tried to sneak out so that I could get the boys home at a reasonable hour. John Stallworth noticed, and he also slipped out to shake each of the boys' hands and congratulate them on their newly discovered communication skills. Many people went out of their way to encourage the boys. They both told me, "Mr. B, we could get used to this!"
Earlier in the evening, both of the boys had told me about some small financial needs that they had and they were wondering if they were going to be paid for speaking. I told them that they were speaking at this event for free, although they would get a really good steak dinner out of the deal. I told them, though, that God knows about every need they have and that they could trust God to take care of them. As we were leaving the event, a woman slipped out of the event, made her way directly over to the boys, and she handed them each a small amount of money because "they were so couragous for sharing their stories." Their faces lit up, and they gave her a big hug and said "Thank you!" She didn't know it, but the money she gave them was God's way of meeting their financial needs that they had discussed with me earlier in the evening. We had some great conversations on the car ride back to Homewood, even though we had to stop at McD's because apparently banquet food isn't quite enough to fill up the stomachs of growing kids.
I have had the opportunity to experience so many amazing things as a mentor. Mentoring is always an adventure! Mentoring has allowed me the opportunity to shake hands with NFL Hall of Famers, and enjoy Pittsburgh Penguins games in luxury box suites with CEOs of major companies. Mentoring has allowed me the opportunity to play street football in Homewood while dodging passing cars and pick up trash at community service events. I've raced go karts, and I've shared meals in my mentees' homes. Whether it's at high profile events or the streets of Homewood, mentoring is all about building consistent relationships over time. Special events are great, but what was most significant about the event last night to me was watching my young friends take a risk and come through the whole experience with a new sense of confidence. They weren't in their homes playing video games, or running the streets of Homewood throwing rocks at abandoned row homes. They were trying new experiences that will help to shape them into the kind of men that will do amazing things with their lives. That's the best mentoring experience that anyone could ever have. I really admire their courage and resilience. Sometimes I think I learn much more from my mentees than they do from me. I guess that's the magic of mentoring.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Power of Faith-based Mentoring Relationships
I am passionate about helping adults from churches build relationships with at-risk kids. I love to watch how mentoring relationships make a tremendous difference in the lives of both mentors and mentees over time. In my line of work, though, I run into plenty of people who are skeptical about the value of mentoring at-risk kids. Many people in society try to write off the type of kids that I work with as lost causes. Cynical people say that there is nothing that can be done with some kids until something is done about the brokeness in their families and blight in their communities. Frustrated teachers feel that the problem is not their teaching, but with the lack of involvement by parents (or any other number of excuses). People who are completely disconnected from what actually goes on in Homewood make their judgments about the youth in my community based solely off of what they hear or read about in the news. People can point to the violence and negativity in my community and try to make a case for why work that is attempted with young people would not really make much of a difference.
I am all for working to improve physical conditions in my neighborhood and working to strengthen families here. That is one of the reasons why I so appreciate the Homewood Children's Village model that is currently being implemented. It seeks to address systemic issues that contribute to cycles of poverty. However, I believe that churches can play a significant role in the transformation of places like Homewood that other institutions in society cannot. People from churches can connect with at-risk kids in profound ways. I have great hope for churches and their function in the transformation of society. I have tremendous hope in at-risk young people. I know for a fact that young people can, and will, learn in spite of the living conditions in their neighborhood or functionality of their families. There is no reason to be cynical about the young people that I know so well in Homewood, in spite of what frustrated people may say or what negative stories may be aired on the evening news. I am not ignoring the difficult things in my community. I am just optimistic about a way forward that focuses on building the assets in young people instead of writing children off as lost causes. And the church has a big role to play in building assets in children.
In their book Reclaiming Our Prodigal Sons and Daughters, authors Scott Larson and Larry Brendtro write, "All kids are our kids. We have often heard teachers and others say, 'What can we possibly do? Look at this kid's family!' But simply blaming the family does little good. If the lives of troubled young people are to change, others in the community must become involved and play a role in the lives of individual children. Nowhere is there more potential for positive influence than in faith-based programs. They are one of the few cross-generational groups that can help rebuild a sense of community. Nearly every other segment of modern society has segregated its young from its older members. Schools, recreational programs, entertainment centers, and even many families keep youth distanced from adults. Traditional faith communities do not. Churches and synagogues are not merely buildings. Ideally, they are communities of committed people who are also potential employers, adult mentors, and positive peer groups - all things that troubled adolescents desperately need."
There are many churches doing amazing work with children in Homewood. Much of that work does not get recognized, but it is valuable. And many more mentors are needed from many more churches in Pittsburgh. There is great transformational power in faith-based mentoring relationships. I continue to pray that God would continue to work on people's hearts to invest in the lives of youth in Homewood instead of writing any children off as lost causes.
I am all for working to improve physical conditions in my neighborhood and working to strengthen families here. That is one of the reasons why I so appreciate the Homewood Children's Village model that is currently being implemented. It seeks to address systemic issues that contribute to cycles of poverty. However, I believe that churches can play a significant role in the transformation of places like Homewood that other institutions in society cannot. People from churches can connect with at-risk kids in profound ways. I have great hope for churches and their function in the transformation of society. I have tremendous hope in at-risk young people. I know for a fact that young people can, and will, learn in spite of the living conditions in their neighborhood or functionality of their families. There is no reason to be cynical about the young people that I know so well in Homewood, in spite of what frustrated people may say or what negative stories may be aired on the evening news. I am not ignoring the difficult things in my community. I am just optimistic about a way forward that focuses on building the assets in young people instead of writing children off as lost causes. And the church has a big role to play in building assets in children.
In their book Reclaiming Our Prodigal Sons and Daughters, authors Scott Larson and Larry Brendtro write, "All kids are our kids. We have often heard teachers and others say, 'What can we possibly do? Look at this kid's family!' But simply blaming the family does little good. If the lives of troubled young people are to change, others in the community must become involved and play a role in the lives of individual children. Nowhere is there more potential for positive influence than in faith-based programs. They are one of the few cross-generational groups that can help rebuild a sense of community. Nearly every other segment of modern society has segregated its young from its older members. Schools, recreational programs, entertainment centers, and even many families keep youth distanced from adults. Traditional faith communities do not. Churches and synagogues are not merely buildings. Ideally, they are communities of committed people who are also potential employers, adult mentors, and positive peer groups - all things that troubled adolescents desperately need."
There are many churches doing amazing work with children in Homewood. Much of that work does not get recognized, but it is valuable. And many more mentors are needed from many more churches in Pittsburgh. There is great transformational power in faith-based mentoring relationships. I continue to pray that God would continue to work on people's hearts to invest in the lives of youth in Homewood instead of writing any children off as lost causes.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Events and Relationships
Every Monday night Julie and I open our house to kids in Homewood from 5-7pm. There were 46 people in our house last night. We're really starting to explore some other options for where and how we can host a group that big (our living room definitely isn't cutting it anymore). This past Friday night over 1,000 people signed up to attend the Harvest Party in Homewood. I don't think that many people actually showed up, but it was a different paradigm for us as we planned for an event with potentially over 1,000 people. It's cool that kids are showing up to planned activities. However, while a large number of kids showing up to something is a gauge of success in many organizations that work with kids, I still feel that the best way to impact kids is one child at a time. I truly wish I had enough mentors to match with every child in Homewood that actually needed a mentor. I know that that type of support would really make a long-term, transformational difference in my community.
I think that our Monday night group is a nice thing for some kids in Homewood. I think that the Harvest Party is a very nice thing for the kids in Homewood. But between Monday nights, and between events for kids in Homewood, I run into many, many children in Homewood who just want to have somebody to spend time with them and invest in them. Events can be a very positive thing for a community, but I believe that lasting impact starts with relationships. Mentoring is not a fix-all for Homewood, but mentoring is a great place to focus efforts because it is focused on building one-to-one relationships. There is just something about mentoring, which many people call the "magic of mentoring," that leads to amazing outcomes for children over time. I love events that impact children in Homewood. But I love mentoring matches that impact the children in Homewood even more. Maybe some people who volunteered at the Harvest Party will want to become a mentor? I guess I'll find out soon enough.
I think that our Monday night group is a nice thing for some kids in Homewood. I think that the Harvest Party is a very nice thing for the kids in Homewood. But between Monday nights, and between events for kids in Homewood, I run into many, many children in Homewood who just want to have somebody to spend time with them and invest in them. Events can be a very positive thing for a community, but I believe that lasting impact starts with relationships. Mentoring is not a fix-all for Homewood, but mentoring is a great place to focus efforts because it is focused on building one-to-one relationships. There is just something about mentoring, which many people call the "magic of mentoring," that leads to amazing outcomes for children over time. I love events that impact children in Homewood. But I love mentoring matches that impact the children in Homewood even more. Maybe some people who volunteered at the Harvest Party will want to become a mentor? I guess I'll find out soon enough.
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