A Weekend to Remember

What a crazy weekend this has been!  On Friday I rented a Uhaul truck and drove Compassion Day construction materials to several different locations in Pittsburgh.  When I was done with that, I made my way over to the Faison Primary School in Homewood to set up for the annual Harvest Party that North Way hosts at the school.  Over 1,000 people signed up to attend!  The Harvest Party ended up being a big hit, even though we were nervous about having enough food, candy, and room for that many people.  It all worked out, and the kids in Homewood had a blast!  Then, on Saturday morning many volunteers from North Way served in different places around the city.  Three Compassion Day projects were held in Homewood.  One group of volunteers picked up trash in the streets around the Faison Primary School and my housing development.  Another group of volunteers (pictured above) helped a LAMP mentee's family to move their belongings into a house.  For the third project, that same group of guys purchased close to $400 worth of drywall materials from Home Depot and loaded all of that material into my basement.  Every Monday night Julie and I open our house to kids from Homewood to come and hang out, and lately we've been averaging about 35 kids in our living room.  A small group from our church heard about our need for more space, so they are finishing our basement for us... hence the need for the drywall materials in our basement.

Most of my role at North Way involves mobilizing the people at our church to get involved with people and causes outside the walls of our church.  This is a difficult thing to do sometimes because we live in such a consumeristic society.  Many Christians think that their church experience is all about them and how they can get their own personal spiritual needs met.  Christians who think of church in that way are missing out on much of what the Christian life is all about.  God calls us to love our neighbors and give ourselves away to others on his behalf.  God has a big heart for people in this world who are struggling, and he calls his church to do something about it.  This was a big weekend for our church because we are continuing to make strides in those areas.  With each relationship that is built, and with each instance where we serve others, we grow closer to becoming more authentic followers of Jesus Christ.

Harvest Party

Tonight my church is hosting a harvest party at the Faison Primary School in Homewood.  I love this annual event so much!  North Way is trying to become an externally focused church, which means that although we seek to provide healthy programs and worship experiences we also seek to be involved relationally with people outside the walls of the church.  Many churches offer "Halloween alternative events" that are often called harvest parties.  The intention is to draw families to the church building instead of trick or treating in their neighborhoods as a part of Halloween.  North Way traditionally held such an event which drew hundreds of people to the main church campus.  A few years ago I challenged our church staff to think of creative ways that they could get our church involved in the community.  The kids and student ministries staff members came up with the idea to take the harvest party from being an internally focused event to being an externally focused event.  They simply took everything they did on that harvest party night and offered all of those things at our LAMP elementary partner school in Homewood.  This is the third year that the harvest party will be held in Homewood, and we're expecting over 750 people from Homewood and possibly 200+ people from North Way to participate in the event.  It's a great onramp for people from North Way to get involved in Homewood, and it's a wonderful event for the kids in my community.  It's a unique example of how churches can partner with public schools (and remember, we started the partnership with long term, authentic relationships that we have built with LAMP over the years).  We're expecting some great weather tonight and a fun time all around.  I can't wait!

The Steelers Visit Homewood

Heinz Ward and Mike Wallace from the Pittsburgh Steelers visited the children at Faison Primary School in Homewood this morning.  Faison won a $10,000 grant from the NFL Play 60 program to be used for bicycles and other physical activity that is so important to the healthy development of children.  The school staff at Faison works very hard to provide resources for the children in Homewood, and it was quite a celebration for everyone involved.  I spotted a few of my mentees in the crowd of kids who were listening closely to everything the Steelers had to say.  They heard a strong message about the need for kids to be physically active and work hard on their grades in school.

Many people choose to focus on the negative things in Homewood, but there really are so many positive things going on there right now.  Besides a visit from the Steelers, in just this one week over 100 LAMP mentors from Pittsburgh-area churches will spend several hours with their mentees, over 600 children and their families from Homewood will be participating in the Harvest Party sponsored by North Way at Faison Primary School this Friday night, and on Saturday morning for Compassion Day volunteers will be picking up trash around my neighborhood, helping a single mom move, and hanging drywall in my basement so that we can turn our basement into a youth recreation room.  I know there are also many other people who will be doing great work in Homewood this week.  Transformation is often a difficult process, so it's important to pause every once in a while to celebrate when positive things happen in the community.

Dasonii

Over two years ago Bryan Chae, an Asian-American from Korea, visited North Way Christian Community in Wexford for the first time.  One of the first things he noticed when he entered the church was a display in the lobby for LAMP.  He walked over to it, picked up a brochure, called me during the following week, and about six weeks later he was matched with a LAMP mentee from Homewood.  He and his mentee have had a lot of fun together over the past couple of years, and in many ways being a mentor has changed Bryan even more than it has changed his mentee.  LAMP has caused him to make some unique decisions in his life.

Bryan is a successful businessman who has a nice house in Cranberry Township, an affluent suburban area well-north of downtown Pittsburgh.  As the owner of a business that is well-established, he could afford to live comfortably and go into work as he chooses.  At this stage in life, he has achieved what many people consider to be the American dream:  Successful businessman, nice house in the suburbs, semi-retired early because he could work when he wanted... the good life.  But becoming a LAMP mentor messed with his paradigm.  Through his many trips to Homewood, God has given Bryan a strong call to take risks and do some incredible things.  First, he decided to be a leader by mobilizing many of his Korean Christian friends to become involved in the Homewood community.  His Christian friends have participated in neighborhood clean up efforts in Homewood, and they have big plans to help out where ever they can in the months and years to come.  He is a bridge builder between his Korean friends and North Way and Homewood.  And instead of sitting back and living comfortably off of the earnings of his successful business, Bryan has decided to utilize his business skills as mission by launching a new restaurant in Robinson Township.  It just opened a few days ago, and he decided to call it "Dasonii" which is a rare ancient Korean word that means "loving people."  He is intending to use the profits from the new restaurant to repair and restore old boarded up homes in Homewood (I have heard that as many as 48% of the real estate properties are abandoned).  He hopes to mobilize hundreds of volunteers to help to create housing for single moms and other people who may be in need of stable housing in Homewood.  I took my family, Bryan's mentee, and his mentee's grandmother out to eat at the new restaurant tonight and we had an amazing time.  When I asked Bryan why he decided to start a new business, with all of its hassles and long hours, at a time in his life when he could be living the comfortable life, he simply said, "LAMP."  He wants to do all he can to make an impact in Homewood with the skills that God has given him.

I think there are several important lessons to be learned from Bryan's story.  First, transformation begins with relationships.  Before Bryan decided to start a restaurant to help others or build a house in Homewood, he built relationships with a child and his family in Homewood.  This is such an important thing for leaders to understand.  There are many people who want to try to help people in need, but they build programs first instead of building relationships first.  Transformational leaders build relationships with the people being served first, and then the great innovative and life changing ideas spring out of those relationships.

Business is mission.  Many businessmen go into business simply to make more money for themselves and their families.  That story is too small of a story for a person to live in.  God desires for us to utilize our business skills to serve his mission to reach others.  When we hoard money for ourselves so that we can have bigger houses and nicer cars and fatter retirement accounts so that we can live comfortably, we may be missing the point of why God has gifted us in the area of business.  God may bless us so that we can give ourselves away to others.  Bryan is a great example of a simple principle... when effective businessmen are good at what they do and they generate prosperity, they can do harm to others along the way or they can do good.  And life is not all about advancing ourselves and our own families.  God gifts us to reach others in his mission, and business is a big part of that.  Work is not a cursed condition.  Good business is not evil.  Good business can help to transform society when businessmen act as stewards of God's resources (and I'm talking about much more than just tithing ten percent of personal income).

We should not be afraid of cross-cultural ministry.  Sunday morning is often the most segregated time of the week in America because most churches tend to consist of people who are similar racially and socioeconomically.  That should not be the case.  Christians should be leading the way in racial and socioeconomic reconciliation.  We should be leading by example.  My friend Bryan is leading by example.  His path has not been easy, but he has been paying attention to God's call on his life to be a bridge builder.  I have prayed many times since I've moved to Homewood that God would help me to have the heart of a bridge builder.

Christians should take risks and give ourselves away to others.  We should never reach a point in our lives where we have "arrived."  Comfort and safety are not necessarily things that we should be striving for. Many Christians will be called to experience suffering.  God wants us to embrace risk as a central theme to our lives.  And God has a tremendous heart for reaching people who are in need.  Dasonii is a beautiful word.  "Loving people."  That's what being a Christian is all about... not just loving ourselves or our own families.  We are called to love God, and we are called to love people.  Dasonii.

Hope for New Mentors

Yesterday I talked to a group of people at North Way about LAMP.  I shared several stories about kids from LAMP, and I also shared about the biblical founation for why Christians should become involved in mentoring.  I thought the stories about kids might impact folks to want to get involved, or maybe the theological insight might encourage people to become mentors.  At the end of the talk, I shared that I trust God and believe in the cause of LAMP so much that I moved my family into Homewood.  I then opened the floor for people to ask questions.

Most of the questions were about what it was like living in Homewood.  I shared honestly about some of the challenges, but mostly our move to Homewood has been a very positive experience for myself and also Julie and the girls.  We love our home.  We love the people that we meet in Homewood.  We especially enjoy building relationships with the kids in the community.  People asked so many questions about us living in Homewood that I was worried that the focus of my talk, which was LAMP, would somehow be missed.  I really didn't want to miss an opportunity to inspire folks to get involved in LAMP.  Afterwards, though, it was very interesting because lots of people came up to talk to me about getting involved in LAMP.  One woman told me, "I've known about LAMP for years but I have chosen not to get involved because Homewood is always in the news with all kinds of violence.  After hearing you speak today, I've decided to become a mentor because if you could move your family there then surely I can mentor I child there in the middle of the school day once a week."  Several other people made similar comments. 

At the end of the day, I guess it doesn't matter what I say that inspires people to become mentors.  I am not really in the business of inspiring people, anyways.  I think God inspires Christians to mentor at-risk kids.  Sometimes he may inspire people through my words or my actions, and often God will work through other people's words and actions.  I know one LAMP mentor who is mentoring today because their child heard about LAMP at church, and I know another mentor who is mentoring because a woman in his small group encouraged him to volunteer somewhere now that he is retired.  Whatever the reason, I'm just glad that people are still inspired to mentor.  That gives me hope.

Mentors or Celebrities?

I went to spend time with my new school-based mentee at Faison Primary School in Homewood on Monday afternoon.  When I made my way up the second floor where his classroom is located to pick him up, his classmates were all standing in line in the hallway to go downstairs to the library.  Several of the kids saw me coming from a ways out, and they started yelling, "Your mentee's not here today!"  I figured they were probably right, but I kept walking down the hallway just so I could speak to his teacher to confirm that he was absent.  Sure enough, he was out that day.  As I was having that brief conversation with the teacher, several of the kids in line started jumping up and down, waving their arms and saying "Ooh... Ooh... pick me... pick me Mr. Bryan... I'll go with you today!"  Some of the kids got out of line to get my attention to show me how bad they wanted to go with me.  It was kind of funny trying to talk to the teacher with kids pulling on my arms and waiving their hands in my face trying to get my attention.  I am just building a new relationship with this particular mentee, and I didn't want to cause any problems between he and I by spending the day with one of the other kids in has class.  So I politely declined the pleas of the other kids, and I told the teacher to tell my mentee I came and that I would be back to see him next Monday.  As I walked away I heard kids in the class making desperate appeals for me to come back and spend time with them.

This experience does not just happen to me.  It happens often to nearly every person that mentors children in the primary school in Homewood.  The word has gotten out over the past five years that many of the kids have mentors, and we do not have nearly enough mentors to match with all of the kids who actually want a mentor.  So the mentors who go consistently are often treated like celebrities, and kids who do not have mentors try many different approaches to try to get people to take an interest in them.  My big dream for LAMP is that we would be able to provide a mentor for every child that goes to school in Homewood.  I know that involves hundreds of children, but there are thousands of adults that attend LAMP churches.  Wouldn't it be incredible if the roles were reversed some day?  What if every kid in Homewood had a mentor, and adults from Pittsburgh-area churches were actually eagerly waiting to be matched with a child?  Imagine a situation where a line of students quietly walked down a hallway and there were adults lined up, jumping up and down, waiving their arms, getting in kids' faces and yelling, "Ooh... Ooh... pick me... pick me... I'll mentor you today!"  Who knows... maybe that dream will become a reality some day?  There are a lot of people and organizations focusing their attention on the kids in Homewood these days.  Wouldn't it be great if all of the kids were treated like celebrities by an overwhelming number of adults who were involved in their education?

Two Worlds Collide: 17-year-old Bryan and 34-year-old Bryan

This past Friday night was the Homecoming football game at Pine-Richland High School.  It just so happens that I was hanging out with some LAMP boys on Friday night.  A friend of mine heard I was with them, and he invited me to bring the boys to a tailgate party (no alcohol... just good food) that he and several North Allegheny (the opponent) families were having before the game.  It was a bit of a cold and partially rainy night, so when we arrived and we got our food the boys decided to eat in my car with the heat on so they could be warm and listen to music.  As the mentors and I mingled among the adults at our party, I looked over at the boys and felt disappointed that they had chosen to hole up in the car instead of hang out with everyone and meet some new people.  I wondered why they were being so shy... so reserved.  I guessed that they weren't having a good time.  I got engaged with someone in a conversation for only about five minutes, and the next thing I knew I looked over and the boys were dancing in the middle of a circle made up of about 50 NA students.  My mentee, who is usually very outgoing, had seen some NA kids trying to do a dance called "the jerk."  I guess they weren't doing it properly, and he just had to go over and show them how it was done.  I couldn't believe my eyes!  One second they're shivering in my car... the next second they're doing a dance-off in the middle of a cheering crowd of teenagers who they had never met before.  They had a great time for the next 30 minutes or so, then we went in and watched the football game for a while.  We had a great time, even though Pine Richland lost pretty bad.

That whole evening was kind of strange for me.  I graduated from Pine Richland, and I played football there.  But, honestly, love for my old high school or football glory stories never really crossed my mind while I was busy investing in the lives of four kids from Homewood.  When I was in high school, all I would have done was obsess about Homecoming and the battle that would be happening to win that game.  Seventeen years later, all I could think about was LAMP and the battle that is going on for the hearts and minds of kids in Homewood.  My values and goals in life were much different when I was seventeen.  On this Friday night, those two worlds collided for me.  At one point in the evening, someone came up to me and said, "You know, they're honoring the football alumni tonight."  I thought to myself, "Oh yeah.  I'm a football alumni, and this game should be really important to me."  There is nothing wrong with being a proud football alumni, I guess.  But there were probably some football alumni attending that game who are still stuck in that one small story of there lives when they were young and glorious.  Believe me, I can embellish high school football stories with the best of them.  But I've moved on to a different story now.  God is moving, and I'm trying to be obedient to his call on my life.  It's hard to look back when the best moments of my life are happening right now, almost every single day.  I'm living in God's adventure.  I have an amazing family to invest in each day.  When I wake up each morning, I look forward to what God has planned for me in the work I do with LAMP.  The work is hard, but God knows that I have what it takes.  God is so good to have blessed me so much.

Excuses

I talk to a lot of Christian men about LAMP.  Every once in a while I'll talk to a guy about LAMP and he'll actually become a LAMP mentor.  Most often, though, guys will show initial interest but then they don't end up getting involved.  I've discovered several common excuses for why the men I talk to seem to want to get involved, but they don't.

1.  "My wife won't let me." - This is by far the most common excuse I get from men.  It's also the one that perplexes me the most.  American Christianity tells men to "establish priorities" by breaking the gospel down to specific principles that must be arranged accordingly.  It usually goes something like this... God first, then your wife, then your kids, then your job, then your church, and whatever scraps of your time and energy that are left over may go to some kind of charitable work.  The American Dream has its own general priorities... work many hours at your job, spend the time that's left over with your wife and kids, throw yourself a bone with whatever's left over by playing golf and watching sports on the HD flat screen.  If you go to church, it's a duty that must be done for the well-being of your family.  Maybe give some money or time to charity if you have anything left to give at the end of the day.  I may be overgeneralizing with the American Chrisitanity and American Dream themes, but many families live out of those values.  Both themes definitely emphasize the need for men to play it safe.  "Don't do anything too risky.  Be a nice guy.  After all, your family needs your paycheck."  Now, I think that men should work hard and build healthy relationships with their wife and kids.  However, that story is not large enough for a man to live in.  Men should be living in God's Story, which means that God is on a mission to redeem all of mankind to himself.  We must orient ourselves within that Story.  Our job is too small of a story, and strong families are great but they are only a small part of the Story.  Golf and football on TV are definitely too small of a part of the Story.  Men must be involved in God's transcendent mission which is the overarching narrative to all of the smaller stories that we live in.  One of the best things a man can do for his children is show them how he gives himself away to others in need.  My point is, when a man senses a strong call from the Lord to do something like mentor an inner city child, I do not think that his wife should shut him down because she thinks it's too risky, or too dangerous, or too time consuming.  It is so good for a family to see that their daddy is living out the whole message of the gospel, not just bits and pieces and principles.  One of the strangest things I experience is when a guy wants to make a difference with his life by mentoring a child in Homewood, but he says he can't because his wife thinks it's too dangerous.  God often requires men to do dangerous things for the sake of his Kingdom.  Shame on us if we are not obedient to that call because we are playing it safe in life for the sake of our families.  We may be ignoring the gospel message of Jesus Christ when we do that.

2.  "I don't have enough time." - This gets back to my point about how we prioritize our time.  If we are exhausted all of the time from work and family responsibilities, and we do not have anything left in the tank for God's mission for justice and compassion among the marginalized people of this world, then we definitely need to change some things around in our lives.  Every man has a specific role to play in God's Story, and that role goes far beyond our families and our personal hobbies or recreation.  If we don't have time, we need to make time.  And... this is an important point... giving ourselves away to people in need is not an either/or choice of how to use our time.  We can, and should, integrate this calling from God into our work and family and recreation time.  Men love to compartmentalize things, but service to others is not a separate compartment.  It is woven throughout much of our lives as one of God's overarching purposes in everything we do.

3.  "I've been called to help with a different program." - I am not territorial.  I know that not every man I run into will be called to be a LAMP mentor.  There are many, many great causes that men can get behind.  The body of Christ is diverse, and the needs in the world are also extremely diverse.  So I wouldn't want to hold it against somebody if they decided to get involved in a cause or organization that is different from LAMP.  I have noticed an interesting phenomenon, though, in the time that I have been leading LAMP.  A guy will tell me he wants to get involved in mentoring a child, and he'll get stuck "in process" for a while because he does not follow through.  I usually stay in communication with those guys, and they tell me over the course of time that they want to get involved in this cause, or that cause, or support this organization, or that organization, or they have this new idea for a program, or that new idea for a program.  Months, and even years, go by like this.  And what happens is, guys bounce around from cause to cause and they never actually commit or dive deep into anything.  Also, people love to start with programs and ideas first but many people rarely actually want to do the hard work of long-term relationships with the poor that are required by a project like LAMP.  I tell people this all the time... before you start a new program to help the poor, or start jumping around from organization to organization in search of a way to fulfill your need to help others, just focus on going to where the hurting people are and start building authentic, long term relationships with them.  The programs and ideas for helping with the poor will spring out of those authentic relationships, and they will often be the ideas that are given by the people who would actually be benefiting from those programs.  That's bottom-up, relational, empowering help as opposed to top-down, prescriptive ideas that are often not sustainable because they lack relationships and buy in from the people who are intended to be served.  This is my advice to any man who wants to help the poor, or orphans, or homeless, or any other group of people that God calls us to care for.  Whoever God puts on your heart, go to where they are and start building relationships with them. 

Excuses are not really acceptable when it comes to God's call to care for the people in this world who are hurting.  If we make excuses for why we are not involved in God's call to act justly and compassionately on behalf of the marginalized people in this world, then we are basically ignoring half of the gospel message of Jesus Christ.  We don't get to pick and choose what we are obedient to and what we are not.  The Bible is not a bunch of principles that we get to add to our lives or ignore based on what we feel.  All men are called to be the body of Christ in this world by acting justly and compassionately on behalf of people in need.  It is not a choice.  It is not something we tack on to the end of our days even though we are tired.  We should live out the gospel in everything that we do.  That's the standard that Christ set.  After all, we're talking about eternal consequences here.  I don't know any man who will be bringing his beautiful house, or his 401k, or his flat screen TV with him to heaven.  I do know several men who will be hanging out with their mentees for eternity in heaven because they chose to get involved instead of play it safe.

A Disappointed Eight Year Old

Yesterday evening Julie and I loaded the girls and their bikes in our car to go have some family fun and get some exercise on a gorgeous fall day in Pittsburgh.  We drove about twenty feet on our journey when we saw an eight year old boy from our neighborhood walking briskly toward our house with a joyful look on his face.  He saw us slowly driving away from the house, a look of horror and disappointment came over him, he threw his arms up in the air, sunk his head and shoulders down, turned around, and started dragging his feet while walking away in the other direction.  On the drive back to our house about an hour later, we saw our young friend with several other boys throwing rocks at vacant row homes and playing in an overgrown lot next to a crack house.

I wish we could be at our house all of the time to welcome every child who stops by to visit us... but we can't (obviously).  Our home often provides a safe place for kids to hang out, especially during after school hours when children tend to get in trouble the most.  We continue to hope and pray that the Holy Spirit will work on more people's hearts to want to move to Homewood to invest in the children of this neighborhood.  It is my hope that the children would have many options of safe homes to go to on any given evening of the week.  That is not some "pie in the sky" dream.  As seen in the story I shared to open this post, many children in Homewood are just looking for people to invest in them.  They are often not even looking for programs.  They just search for places to belong and people to fill in some of the gaps they may have.

I can understand that most Christians in the Pittsburgh area do not want to move to Homewood.  That type of thinking and living is dangerous.  It goes against the American Dream and the values of upward mobility.  Plus, our society is set up to embrace safety, reason, and the pursuit of comfort and our own personal happiness.  Besides, Christians are called to many different types of things.  Some are called to live in the suburbs, while others may be called to live in the city.  So I am not saying that every Christian is called to move to Homewood.  Still... I will continue to pray that more people would move to Homewood to live and invest in this community.  We are waiting for more help.  And the kids are waiting for more people to hang out with.  Maybe some day I won't have to watch the reaction of a disappointed eight year old moping as he walked away from our house, but instead his next thought would be "That's OK.  I'll go and see what the '_____s' are up to!"  There are other families doing just that in Homewood, but not nearly enough to meet the needs of all the kids.

When we as Christians intentionally distance ourselves from the poor with our lifestyles, then we intentionally neglect God's call to be available to and build relationships with the vulnerable people of this world that have great importance in the Kingdom of God.  God blesses us when we are obedient to his call to care for the poor, orphans, widows, aliens, and others.  By distancing ourselves from them, we may be ignoring a significant portion of the gospel message of Jesus Christ.  When we choose to live alongside the marginalized people of this world, I can say from first hand experience that God blesses us in profound ways.  Besides... street chalk, bubbles, dart tag and pick up football games are too much fun to pass up.  The city can be a great place to raise a family.  When families move to minister to people in the inner city amidst broken systems and with marginalized people, then suddenly the values of the gospel become real on a daily basis.  The parents model for their children in an authentic, real-life way how God can use us at all times to demonstrate the love of Christ to hurting people.  Again... I am not saying that this can't be done in the suburbs, or affluent parts of urban areas, or rural areas.  There are hurting people there that need to have families share the profound love of Jesus Christ with them, and I know several Christian friends and families that have clearly been called to do that.  I am saying, though, that there are many benefits to raising a family in a neighborhood like Homewood that may not be obvious by worldy standards but that are important to God's heart for reaching vulnerable people.  I know few will be called, but there's no harm in praying that God would bring more people to invest in the children in Homewood.

The Risk of Sharing

Sharing my experiences here in Homewood through this blog is kind of a strange thing for me.  I started writing about urban ministry and my life here for several reasons.  First, writing gives me an outlet to process everything that I experience in urban ministry on a daily basis.  But, I could do that privately in a personal journal.  Why share my experiences publicly?  What if I offend people, or if I am not sensitive enough, or if I share something controversial that other people may completely disagree with?  That's the risk I take with sharing the story of my life.  I open myself up to scrutiny that other people may not have to deal with.  However, as a part of my DMin program at BGU I am required to take other people along with me in my journey however I am able to do that.  That means that I need to share stories and experiences publicly... lots of them.  Transformational leaders give themselves away to others.  Whatever I learn or exprience along the way, I should do my best to share those things with others.

Every time I write something on this blog about my urban ministry experiences in Homewood, I tend to overthink things and second guess myself.  How are other people perceiving what I am writing?  Am I focusing too much on the needs of the community instead of the assets?  Is this blog helping anybody along in their journey to want to make a difference in this world?  My experiences seem to be marked by both joy and frustration.  There are many risks involved, and many twists and turns along the way.  I run the risk of sounding like a complete fool, or having God work through my risks and failures to somehow inspire others to take the narrow path of life that can lead to so much joy in Christ.

In the book City Signals, Brad Smith writes, "Most of us go to the city at first simply to help people, make some new friends, and maybe make a small difference in someone's life.  Just getting involved and seeing what happens is the best way to open our hearts to what God wants to teach us.  Yet not long into our urban ministry journey, we experience both intense joy and frustration.  These experiences in the midst of reflection and relationships can facilitate a parallel spiritual formation journey that opens up whole new ways to reflect on God and His work in our lives.  The best place to start on this second parallel journey is exploring God's presence in your own story.  There is an art and a unique love in telling your story in a way that releases someone else's deeper story.  Your story is given to you by God.  In building relationships in the city, your story is a treasure more valuable than any expertise, time, or money you bring.  The high points of your story (your successes) may impress people, but the hard times (your failures) are what inspire their trust in you.  It takes much practice to share the pain of your life authentically without hiding behind stoicism or over-dramatization.  There is much about spiritual formation that seems contrary to logic.  There is much about urban ministry that empowers the poor, rather than just meets a need, that also seems contrary to logic."

So I guess that's where I'm at right now.  Sometimes I just want to keep to myself and live a life that doesn't rock the boat or ruffle any feathers.  Sometimes I become so passionate about my calling that I want to scream it from the mountaintops to anyone who will listen.  That's just the tension that I live in.  I don't know if I will ever feel like I am able to communicate the needs and hopes of Homewood effectively.  I will probably always feel inadequate.  I will probably always feel like an outsider in this community.  I will probably stir up the status quo along the way.  But, I am not alone along the way.  God is with me.  I just need to be obedient to what God is requiring of me.  God's shoulders are strong enough the carry the outcomes (I know mine sure aren't). 

Risk it or play it safe?  I wonder if I passed today?  I guess it doesn't matter.  Tomorrow will surely bring about new tests and new opportunities to bring others along in my journey through life.  Either way, I know that my story will one day end in death.  But I know how The Story ends.  God has given us that in his Word.  So I guess there's nothing to be anxious about in sharing my story with others, because in doing that hopefully I am helping to share The Story with others.  And that risk is always worth it!

I Have a Purse, and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

I've noticed that Homewood has some motorcycle gangs.  One of them seems to be headquartered out of a building about 50 yards from my house.  Ever since moving to Homewood, one of the most annoying things we've experienced is the obnoxious sounds of high-speed motorcycles day and night.  I'm not saying that I mind the sound of motorcycles.  I'm saying that the motorcycles near us fly up and down the streets of Homewood at high speeds while mixing in all kinds of tricks.  Several of the riders practice tricks in the parking lot of the school next to our house...  usually between the hours of 5pm and midnight.  The riders may or may not be in a gang (they may just be regular guys practicing tricks).  Either way, thier actions are dangerous to the children who hang out around our house and the school during evenings.  They're so loud that they keep my kids from sleeping, and I have a hard time concentrating while I study at night.

I actually talked to the riders about it one time, but that doesn't seem to have made any difference.  Their response to my words was, "Don't call the cops on us."  I eventually had to file complaints with the city about their actions.  After months, all of my complaints have not made one bit of difference.  There are still no police patrols to be found when the riders are flying around my neighborhood almost every night, or especially when they're practicing tricks in the school parking lot.  I'm guessing that motorcycle noise and skid marks in the elementary school parking lot are not really high on the police's list of priorities.

So... tonight I borrowed Julie's car to run an errand.  I noticed that the bikers were in the school parking lot once again doing whatever they felt like doing.  After running the errand, I parked her car on the street in front of our house.  I looked for the bikers, and sure enough they were still disturbing our neighborhood by doing "wheelies" in the school parking lot.  I decided I was going to get out of her car and try to make eye contact with them to see if I could get them to call it a night.  But, before doing that, I noticed Julie's purse on the floor of the car.  I didn't think it would be a good idea to leave her purse in the car overnight, so I decided to pick it up so that I could give it to her in the house.  You can probably see where this is going.  I grabbed her purse, exited the car, closed the car door, locked the doors, hitched the purse to my forearm, took a few steps toward the school parking lot so that the motorcycle riders could see me, I made eye contact with them, and I took a few steps toward them to possibly talk to them about leaving.  Only one problem... it hit me in that moment that I was holding a purse in the midst of my little bold move.  That couldn't have gone over too well... except to give them a chuckle to lighten the mood of our ongoing dispute.  In retrospect I wish I would have yelled, "I have a purse, and I'm not afraid to use it!"  But, I didn't say that.  I realized how silly I must have looked, and I made my way back into my house.  Needless to say, the motorcycle noise carried on for several more hours.  It is still going on as I type this.  They may have gained some ground for tonight.  But only for tonight.  There's always next time... I just need to remember to leave the purse behind!

Final Dissertation Problem Statement

Here is the problem statement I have settled on for my dissertation:

"I am studying faith-based mentoring because I want to discover how to transform the lives of at-risk youth so that my reader may understand how to build life-changing developmental assets."

I'll be building research based on that 30 word statement for the next year and a half.  It should be fun!  I'm really looking forward to the challenge.  A question for anyone reading this post... do you think researching that topic in a dissertation will be worthwhile research that will be of interest to the body of Christ? 

Fear or Resolve?

Somebody recently tried to break into our house through the basement door.  We have an alarm system that would have gone off had the attempt been successful, so I'm not too worried about it.  That type of thing can happen to anybody, anywhere.  A few months ago someone tried to break into our garage, so we are always kind of "aware" that things like that do happen in our neighborhood.

I share these examples because almost everyone I know who lives incarnationally in blighted urban nieghborhoods has stories of things that were stolen or cars that were broken into.  I don't expect our experiences here in Homewood to be any different, although we pray that God would protect our family.  Stuff is just stuff.  Honestly, if our car was stolen I don't think it would bother me that much.  It's just a car.  If our house was tagged or harmed somehow, it wouldn't bother me that much.  It's just a house.  We've worked with at-risk kids for many years, and over the course of that time we've had money and things stolen from us at times.  Big deal.  It's just money and stuff. 

Where the doubt and fear really starts to creep in for me is when I think about something bad happening to my wife or my daughters.  I do my best to protect them, but in the end God is in control of our lives.  He has called us to live in Homewood.  The enemy tries to take events like the attempted break in the other day and fan those anxious thoughts into flames so that we will want to leave the great work that is going on with the young people here in Homewood.  Actually, though, if I really depend on God... then those attacks just add to our resolve to want to continue on with the work here.  God has a way of strengthening our faith through difficult experiences.  I'm looking forward to seeing how God is going to work through these circumstances.

Shots in the Night

Early this morning at about 1am I was jolted out of my deep sleep by the unmistakable sound of gun shots outside my house.  While my wife and daughters slept, I stayed awake for a while to make sure everything was alright.  While I was awake, my thoughts drifted to all of the violence that has hit Homewood this year.  Too many young people have lost their lives.  It's tragic.  Just two days ago a 22 year old man from Homewood was killed while waiting at a bus stop for a ride to work on a main street near my neighborhood.  Someone drove by and fired 26 rounds at him.  Luckily, nobody else was injured even though that was a busy bus stop at 10:30 in the morning.

Young people from Homewood dying violently greatly disturbs me.  It should disturb everyone who lives in Pittsburgh... not just the people in Homewood.  The violence in Pittsburgh is a Pittsburgh-wide problem, so we all must come together to find a solution.  In the early hours of this morning, all I could think about was the great burden I have for the young people in Homewood.  I shared that burden with our staff at North Way during our weekly staff meeting this morning.  I happen to lead LAMP in Homewood, and I am very passionate about it.  But finding mentors for young people in Homewood, before they get involved in violence, is not just my issue because I happen to lead LAMP.  It is our entire church's issue.  We cannot possibly solve all of the problems that lead to violence in Homewood, nor is that our purpose with LAMP.  There are many factors that lead to youth violence, and we cannot impact all of those factors.  But... one thing we can do is find enough mentors to match with the kids on the waiting list.  It's only about 50 children, and our church has several thousand people.

God is working through many people and organizations toward the transformation of Homewood.  North Way contributes mentors as one part of those combined efforts.  I am hopeful for this community.  In the meantime, I am also heartbroken. Transformation is indeed a process, and my heart will remain burdened every time I hear gunshots or learn about another young person dying in my neighborhood.  I will never become complacent to these violent circumstances.  However, I cannot control whether or not people from my church decide to mentor the kids who are waiting.  I can do my best to put the needs in front of people as best as I can, but in the end God must work on people's hearts and the people who the Holy Spirit nudges must be obedient to follow through.  I know it is no coincidence that God opened the door for our church to mentor children in Homewood.  If God could open that door, then he is by all means capable of bringing enough people for every single child who wants a mentor.

Showing Up

I have decided to officially take on a new mentee match this year.  I have had the opportunity to be matched with a fourth grade boy who was really looking forward to having a mentor this year.  Something interesting is going on, though.  He has been absent from school the last two times I have showed up to spend time with him.  I am scheduled to see him today in about an hour, so I am wondering if he is going to be there.  I am doing more than wondering, I guess.  I am praying.  As a Christian, I do not need to be powerless when it comes to the battle that is raging for the heart of my new mentee.  God has a plan for his life, and God has chosen to work through me to reach this young man.  Even if he is not there again today, I am going to make sure that I do my part and show up.  The rest is up to God.

Consistency is extremenly important in mentoring.  I know one mentor who was matched with a mentee, and he showed up every week at the arranged time only to find that his mentee was not there.  This went on for six months.  Sometimes he thought he could hear his mentee in the background, but he would just say, "well, tell him I'll be here next week if he wants to hang out."  He did eventually get frustrated, and he made the decision not to waste his time anymore so he didn't show up one week.  He got a phone call from the mentee asking "Why didn't you come to get me today?"  The mentor said, "Because you haven't been going with me when I showed up!"  The mentee said, "I'm sorry.  I'll go with you next week if you come."  The mentor showed up the following week, and they went out and had a great time together.  Their formal mentoring relationship lasted for nine more years until the mentee graduated from high school.  Now, as adults they are friends and the mentee has been really thriving as an adult.  God just wants us to be obedient and show up.  He wants us to be selfless, because mentoring us not about us.  It's all about God.

Risk, Danger, and Adventure

My mother-in-law visited us here in Homewood for a few days in the middle of last week.  It was good timing, because on Tuesday night Julie and I were both invited to a community meeting in Homewood and she was here to watch our girls so we could go to the meeting together.  When we arrived home from the meeting, we of course asked how the evening went.  She said, "Your daughters were wonderful!  We had a great time.  After I put them to bed, though, I noticed that there was something going on outside.  I opened the door to the back porch to see sirens and police lights and a helicopter flying over your house shining a light all around your neighborhood."  It turns out that a man had been shot in the back on the street next to our house, and police had closed that street off to search for a suspect and provide medical care for the victim.  By the time we arrived home, the police tape was still up but the scene had been cleared.  I told her, "That's crazy... very close to our house!"  I needed to go check in with one of my mentees that night, so I grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter and said, "I'm glad you guys are OK.  I'm heading out.  I'll be back in a little while."  She had a shocked look on her face, and she said, "Are you going out right now?  It's dangerouse out there!"  In that moment, I had the urge to crack a smile at her and say something matter-of-fact like, "Danger?  Danger is my middle name."  Although I didn't say that particular phrase, I did crack a half-smile and say to her, "If it's dangerous out there, then that's exactly where God wants me to be right now.  There's no safer place to be than at the center of God's will."  I reassured her that I would be fine as I closed the door, and I walked off into the cool September night in Homewood.  As I went about God's work in Homework that night, something in me felt like God was right there by my side the whole time.  My actions and words that evening had purpose because I remained obedient to God's call on my life to go into places where most people do not want to go.

I arrived back home safely that night, got a short night of sleep, and then the next morning I went to a prayer effort for the city of Pittsburgh that had been organized by some friends of mine who are looking for ways to get Christians involved and engaged in the transformation of the people and places in Pittsburgh.  Several long-time, experienced urban ministry practitioners were there at that meeting to pray for the troubled youth and broken systems in our city.  There were also several businessmen and suburban Christians at the prayer meeting who were taking some of their first steps toward being involved as Christians in reaching the lost in dark places in the city.  For many of these business-minded and suburban brothers of mine in Christ, they are starting to be obedient to Christ's call to enter into the pain and brokenness of our city through relationships and prayer and mobilization of the body of Christ to reach to most vulnerable people in Pittsburgh.  For some of them, they feel like this first step of prayer and involvement in leading the charge of Christians to be involved in the city is dangerous and radical.  The ideology of downward mobility and engagement by Christians with broken systems and hurting people runs counter to the American Dream that many people have bought into.  It feels dangerous to break out of line with the status quo.  It can be quite an adventure.

I am sharing these examples to illustrate something that is very important for Christian men.  God calls each of us to be amazing, loving husbands to our wives.  He calls each of us to love our children well, and to model for them in every way what a godly man looks like.  But beyond our families, God calls all men to live out a transcendent purpose for him that is often dangerous and full of adventure.  When I went out into the night on the same evening that a man had just been shot 50 yards from my house in Homewood, I was taking a risk.  It was dangerous (my mother-in-law was right).  But, passivity is far more dangerous for us as men.  When those men gathered to pray and plan strategies for reaching hurting people in the inner city of Pittsburgh early on Wednesday morning, they were planning something subversive to what the enemy has planned for Pittsburgh.  The kingdom of God is subversive, and it is dangerous.  It may even cost some of us our lives.  But God calls each of us to take risks, to reach people for his sake.  Are we willing to give up control and safety in exchange for danger and adventure?

John Eldredge writes, "Life is not a problem to be solved; it is an adventure to be lived.  That's the nature of it and has been since the beginning when God set the dangerous stage for his high-stakes drama and called the whole wild enterprise good.  He rigged the world in such a way that it only works when we embrace risk as the theme of our lives, which is to say, only when we live by faith.  A man just won't be happy until he's got adventure in his work, in his love and in his spiritual life."

So true.  So what will we do with God's call to embrace risk and danger and adventure in our lives?  Will we double our efforts at trying to control everything when things don't go our way?  God may call some of us to work with inner city kids.  God may call some of us to make a difference in the marketplace, which may be full of sharks dressed in suits.  Some of us may be called to the danger of politics, or any of the other systems in society that evil may have infiltrated.  This is a choice for men almost every single day of our lives.  Will we take risks, or play it safe?  Life is a risky, dangerous adventure.  But God is with us.  Let's live like that every day.

All the way in?

What does it mean for a person to be a follower of Christ?  Does Jesus really require our everything?  There is a Voice that calls out to each one of us as we go through our days, and sometimes as we lay awake at night.  God requires everything of us, but we are only partially in... not all the way in. 

How could we possibly be all the way in?  It's too risky.  There are mortages to be paid for houses in just the right neighborhood.  There are cars to be driven with just the right look and purpose to meet our needs.  There are retirement accounts and college funds to sock money away in.  There are ways to educate our children that we must obsess over.  There are corporate ladders to be climbed because there are raises to be had.  There are TV shows and football games to be watched.  There are luxurious vacations to be taken.  There are tasks to be accomplished, and budgets to be made on spreadsheets, and efficiency to be produced.  Our next shopping score is right around the bend.  If we just reach that one next goal, then we'll be set.

Could we walk away from it all?  Would we?  What if that Voice is just a voice in our heads... a part of our imagination.  After all, we've become very good at ignoring it or pushing it down into that deep part of our hearts that we dare not dwell on too often.  Our thoughts cannot linger there.  It seems like death to go in the opposite direction of what the world has to offer and what we can control.

What if?  What if we walked away from it all?  What if we went all in?  Would God meet us in that place of vulnerability and ultimate risk?  We can only find out if we actually do it.  It is a beautiful thing to be completely sold out for Christ.  To find life as God truly designed it, we must be willing to be all in.  Are you in?