Monday, January 11, 2010

A Sledding Incident

Over the weekend I went sled riding with my family and two mentees who I have been working with for several years. When we arrived at the hill, my mentees told me that they noticed that they were the only African American people there. There were several different hills, and I told them that they were free to ride any of the hills... just try not to run into any trees or "take out" any little kids. Well, about 3o minutes into our time there I crossed paths with them while walking up the hill and they were very upset. One of them had bumped into a little boy at the bottom of a hill, knocking him over (he wasn't hurt), and the mother of the boy was not happy. I said, "don't be upset... put yourself in the mom's shoes. She didn't like her little boy being knocked over, even if you couldn't avoid him." They understood that, but they weren't upset about what the mother had said to them. While they were apologizing to the mom, an older woman walked over to them and said, "I've been watching you for the past 3o minutes... ever since you got here. You boys don't belong here. These nice kids are just here having a good time, and they shouldn't have to worry about you people being here." I'm paraphrasing from what the boys told me, but you can see why they were so upset. Now, I had been watching them from a distance because I was nervous that they might run into a tree, so I know that they were not misbehaving at all. There had been absolutely no reason for them to draw any attention to themselves. One of my mentees said, "Mr. Bryan, why was that woman watching us for 30 minutes? That's not right!" I know why they were offended.

I guess I'm writing about this because I want to point out injustices or inappropriate comments when they happen. I was unable to locate the woman in order to defend the boys, or talk to her about her comment. It does not sit well with me, and I can not just be quiet about it or brush it off as "Some people are just ignorant." Maybe that's the case, but there are broader injustices at play that need to be addressed in our society. Almost every time I walk into a store with my mentees, we are followed by an empoyee to make sure the boys don't steal anything. Often when I am in other public places with groups of kids, some people tend to be almost looking for things to go wrong. I don't know... it is hard to describe. I have been pulled over by police with mentees in my car for no reason on several different occasions... without receiving a ticket (I wasn't breaking any laws). They check my ID and ask random questions about the kids who are with me. Some of the officers tell me things like "This is not a safe neighborhood for you to be in" or "I was just checking to see if these kids needed car seats." Right...

Racial discrimination still exists in America. It is evil, and it is painful. I am opening up about some of my mentees' experiences because I am trying to work through how I can respond more responsibly in these types of situations as a mentor. It's not comfortable to talk about openly, but it is important to realize that this goes on because those in positions of power must act when injustices are involved. I should be my mentees' biggest advocates.

5 comments:

Raquel said...

AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! Usually its complacent Christians that get my blood pressure this high!

I have learned from a mentor of mine that this is called Institutional Racism. The only thing I know to do about it (besides prayer) is to educate people. Most people, even in our own church, our own mentors, can be racist and not even realize it.

I have asked my friend to read your blog and give me some feedback - he is the Einstein with stuff like this.

Jason Gregg said...

Your blog made me angry. When I worked with inner city kids I got the same reactions. Once I took a kid into a gas station for a drink and the guy in there watched my client like a hawk. On the way out he even stopped us and accused him of stealing a candy bar. I'm glad my client was with me or else I may have ended up in jail for doing something I should not have. The good news is you are making a positive difference and these kids see you and know not everyone is alike. Hopefully someday they'll learn to trust but be discerning in whom they place their trust.

Jeffrey Gregg said...

That one got me mad, good luck finding the lady next time. I am happy to donate to the Bryan McCabe legal defense fund if you ever get arrested.

Anonymous said...

Bryan

Whenever Val and I have our mentees anywhere, we always stay close enough to them and interact with in a way that makes it obvious that they are with us. When people see that they are with a white couple, it makes a difference (for the better) in how they treat or interact with the kids.

Is it right? Absolutely not!!! But, it has saved us and the kids from comments and being treated badly. It's our way of protecting the kids.

John V

Kristin said...

Unbelievable! But so true. Thanks for sharing your story. People need to realize racism is still VERY present here in 2010....but people need to hear these stories to believe it! Sad...but true! Thanks for your story. Irritating but glad you blogged about it!