A Disappointed Eight Year Old

Yesterday evening Julie and I loaded the girls and their bikes in our car to go have some family fun and get some exercise on a gorgeous fall day in Pittsburgh.  We drove about twenty feet on our journey when we saw an eight year old boy from our neighborhood walking briskly toward our house with a joyful look on his face.  He saw us slowly driving away from the house, a look of horror and disappointment came over him, he threw his arms up in the air, sunk his head and shoulders down, turned around, and started dragging his feet while walking away in the other direction.  On the drive back to our house about an hour later, we saw our young friend with several other boys throwing rocks at vacant row homes and playing in an overgrown lot next to a crack house.

I wish we could be at our house all of the time to welcome every child who stops by to visit us... but we can't (obviously).  Our home often provides a safe place for kids to hang out, especially during after school hours when children tend to get in trouble the most.  We continue to hope and pray that the Holy Spirit will work on more people's hearts to want to move to Homewood to invest in the children of this neighborhood.  It is my hope that the children would have many options of safe homes to go to on any given evening of the week.  That is not some "pie in the sky" dream.  As seen in the story I shared to open this post, many children in Homewood are just looking for people to invest in them.  They are often not even looking for programs.  They just search for places to belong and people to fill in some of the gaps they may have.

I can understand that most Christians in the Pittsburgh area do not want to move to Homewood.  That type of thinking and living is dangerous.  It goes against the American Dream and the values of upward mobility.  Plus, our society is set up to embrace safety, reason, and the pursuit of comfort and our own personal happiness.  Besides, Christians are called to many different types of things.  Some are called to live in the suburbs, while others may be called to live in the city.  So I am not saying that every Christian is called to move to Homewood.  Still... I will continue to pray that more people would move to Homewood to live and invest in this community.  We are waiting for more help.  And the kids are waiting for more people to hang out with.  Maybe some day I won't have to watch the reaction of a disappointed eight year old moping as he walked away from our house, but instead his next thought would be "That's OK.  I'll go and see what the '_____s' are up to!"  There are other families doing just that in Homewood, but not nearly enough to meet the needs of all the kids.

When we as Christians intentionally distance ourselves from the poor with our lifestyles, then we intentionally neglect God's call to be available to and build relationships with the vulnerable people of this world that have great importance in the Kingdom of God.  God blesses us when we are obedient to his call to care for the poor, orphans, widows, aliens, and others.  By distancing ourselves from them, we may be ignoring a significant portion of the gospel message of Jesus Christ.  When we choose to live alongside the marginalized people of this world, I can say from first hand experience that God blesses us in profound ways.  Besides... street chalk, bubbles, dart tag and pick up football games are too much fun to pass up.  The city can be a great place to raise a family.  When families move to minister to people in the inner city amidst broken systems and with marginalized people, then suddenly the values of the gospel become real on a daily basis.  The parents model for their children in an authentic, real-life way how God can use us at all times to demonstrate the love of Christ to hurting people.  Again... I am not saying that this can't be done in the suburbs, or affluent parts of urban areas, or rural areas.  There are hurting people there that need to have families share the profound love of Jesus Christ with them, and I know several Christian friends and families that have clearly been called to do that.  I am saying, though, that there are many benefits to raising a family in a neighborhood like Homewood that may not be obvious by worldy standards but that are important to God's heart for reaching vulnerable people.  I know few will be called, but there's no harm in praying that God would bring more people to invest in the children in Homewood.

The Risk of Sharing

Sharing my experiences here in Homewood through this blog is kind of a strange thing for me.  I started writing about urban ministry and my life here for several reasons.  First, writing gives me an outlet to process everything that I experience in urban ministry on a daily basis.  But, I could do that privately in a personal journal.  Why share my experiences publicly?  What if I offend people, or if I am not sensitive enough, or if I share something controversial that other people may completely disagree with?  That's the risk I take with sharing the story of my life.  I open myself up to scrutiny that other people may not have to deal with.  However, as a part of my DMin program at BGU I am required to take other people along with me in my journey however I am able to do that.  That means that I need to share stories and experiences publicly... lots of them.  Transformational leaders give themselves away to others.  Whatever I learn or exprience along the way, I should do my best to share those things with others.

Every time I write something on this blog about my urban ministry experiences in Homewood, I tend to overthink things and second guess myself.  How are other people perceiving what I am writing?  Am I focusing too much on the needs of the community instead of the assets?  Is this blog helping anybody along in their journey to want to make a difference in this world?  My experiences seem to be marked by both joy and frustration.  There are many risks involved, and many twists and turns along the way.  I run the risk of sounding like a complete fool, or having God work through my risks and failures to somehow inspire others to take the narrow path of life that can lead to so much joy in Christ.

In the book City Signals, Brad Smith writes, "Most of us go to the city at first simply to help people, make some new friends, and maybe make a small difference in someone's life.  Just getting involved and seeing what happens is the best way to open our hearts to what God wants to teach us.  Yet not long into our urban ministry journey, we experience both intense joy and frustration.  These experiences in the midst of reflection and relationships can facilitate a parallel spiritual formation journey that opens up whole new ways to reflect on God and His work in our lives.  The best place to start on this second parallel journey is exploring God's presence in your own story.  There is an art and a unique love in telling your story in a way that releases someone else's deeper story.  Your story is given to you by God.  In building relationships in the city, your story is a treasure more valuable than any expertise, time, or money you bring.  The high points of your story (your successes) may impress people, but the hard times (your failures) are what inspire their trust in you.  It takes much practice to share the pain of your life authentically without hiding behind stoicism or over-dramatization.  There is much about spiritual formation that seems contrary to logic.  There is much about urban ministry that empowers the poor, rather than just meets a need, that also seems contrary to logic."

So I guess that's where I'm at right now.  Sometimes I just want to keep to myself and live a life that doesn't rock the boat or ruffle any feathers.  Sometimes I become so passionate about my calling that I want to scream it from the mountaintops to anyone who will listen.  That's just the tension that I live in.  I don't know if I will ever feel like I am able to communicate the needs and hopes of Homewood effectively.  I will probably always feel inadequate.  I will probably always feel like an outsider in this community.  I will probably stir up the status quo along the way.  But, I am not alone along the way.  God is with me.  I just need to be obedient to what God is requiring of me.  God's shoulders are strong enough the carry the outcomes (I know mine sure aren't). 

Risk it or play it safe?  I wonder if I passed today?  I guess it doesn't matter.  Tomorrow will surely bring about new tests and new opportunities to bring others along in my journey through life.  Either way, I know that my story will one day end in death.  But I know how The Story ends.  God has given us that in his Word.  So I guess there's nothing to be anxious about in sharing my story with others, because in doing that hopefully I am helping to share The Story with others.  And that risk is always worth it!

I Have a Purse, and I'm Not Afraid to Use It

I've noticed that Homewood has some motorcycle gangs.  One of them seems to be headquartered out of a building about 50 yards from my house.  Ever since moving to Homewood, one of the most annoying things we've experienced is the obnoxious sounds of high-speed motorcycles day and night.  I'm not saying that I mind the sound of motorcycles.  I'm saying that the motorcycles near us fly up and down the streets of Homewood at high speeds while mixing in all kinds of tricks.  Several of the riders practice tricks in the parking lot of the school next to our house...  usually between the hours of 5pm and midnight.  The riders may or may not be in a gang (they may just be regular guys practicing tricks).  Either way, thier actions are dangerous to the children who hang out around our house and the school during evenings.  They're so loud that they keep my kids from sleeping, and I have a hard time concentrating while I study at night.

I actually talked to the riders about it one time, but that doesn't seem to have made any difference.  Their response to my words was, "Don't call the cops on us."  I eventually had to file complaints with the city about their actions.  After months, all of my complaints have not made one bit of difference.  There are still no police patrols to be found when the riders are flying around my neighborhood almost every night, or especially when they're practicing tricks in the school parking lot.  I'm guessing that motorcycle noise and skid marks in the elementary school parking lot are not really high on the police's list of priorities.

So... tonight I borrowed Julie's car to run an errand.  I noticed that the bikers were in the school parking lot once again doing whatever they felt like doing.  After running the errand, I parked her car on the street in front of our house.  I looked for the bikers, and sure enough they were still disturbing our neighborhood by doing "wheelies" in the school parking lot.  I decided I was going to get out of her car and try to make eye contact with them to see if I could get them to call it a night.  But, before doing that, I noticed Julie's purse on the floor of the car.  I didn't think it would be a good idea to leave her purse in the car overnight, so I decided to pick it up so that I could give it to her in the house.  You can probably see where this is going.  I grabbed her purse, exited the car, closed the car door, locked the doors, hitched the purse to my forearm, took a few steps toward the school parking lot so that the motorcycle riders could see me, I made eye contact with them, and I took a few steps toward them to possibly talk to them about leaving.  Only one problem... it hit me in that moment that I was holding a purse in the midst of my little bold move.  That couldn't have gone over too well... except to give them a chuckle to lighten the mood of our ongoing dispute.  In retrospect I wish I would have yelled, "I have a purse, and I'm not afraid to use it!"  But, I didn't say that.  I realized how silly I must have looked, and I made my way back into my house.  Needless to say, the motorcycle noise carried on for several more hours.  It is still going on as I type this.  They may have gained some ground for tonight.  But only for tonight.  There's always next time... I just need to remember to leave the purse behind!

Final Dissertation Problem Statement

Here is the problem statement I have settled on for my dissertation:

"I am studying faith-based mentoring because I want to discover how to transform the lives of at-risk youth so that my reader may understand how to build life-changing developmental assets."

I'll be building research based on that 30 word statement for the next year and a half.  It should be fun!  I'm really looking forward to the challenge.  A question for anyone reading this post... do you think researching that topic in a dissertation will be worthwhile research that will be of interest to the body of Christ? 

Fear or Resolve?

Somebody recently tried to break into our house through the basement door.  We have an alarm system that would have gone off had the attempt been successful, so I'm not too worried about it.  That type of thing can happen to anybody, anywhere.  A few months ago someone tried to break into our garage, so we are always kind of "aware" that things like that do happen in our neighborhood.

I share these examples because almost everyone I know who lives incarnationally in blighted urban nieghborhoods has stories of things that were stolen or cars that were broken into.  I don't expect our experiences here in Homewood to be any different, although we pray that God would protect our family.  Stuff is just stuff.  Honestly, if our car was stolen I don't think it would bother me that much.  It's just a car.  If our house was tagged or harmed somehow, it wouldn't bother me that much.  It's just a house.  We've worked with at-risk kids for many years, and over the course of that time we've had money and things stolen from us at times.  Big deal.  It's just money and stuff. 

Where the doubt and fear really starts to creep in for me is when I think about something bad happening to my wife or my daughters.  I do my best to protect them, but in the end God is in control of our lives.  He has called us to live in Homewood.  The enemy tries to take events like the attempted break in the other day and fan those anxious thoughts into flames so that we will want to leave the great work that is going on with the young people here in Homewood.  Actually, though, if I really depend on God... then those attacks just add to our resolve to want to continue on with the work here.  God has a way of strengthening our faith through difficult experiences.  I'm looking forward to seeing how God is going to work through these circumstances.

Shots in the Night

Early this morning at about 1am I was jolted out of my deep sleep by the unmistakable sound of gun shots outside my house.  While my wife and daughters slept, I stayed awake for a while to make sure everything was alright.  While I was awake, my thoughts drifted to all of the violence that has hit Homewood this year.  Too many young people have lost their lives.  It's tragic.  Just two days ago a 22 year old man from Homewood was killed while waiting at a bus stop for a ride to work on a main street near my neighborhood.  Someone drove by and fired 26 rounds at him.  Luckily, nobody else was injured even though that was a busy bus stop at 10:30 in the morning.

Young people from Homewood dying violently greatly disturbs me.  It should disturb everyone who lives in Pittsburgh... not just the people in Homewood.  The violence in Pittsburgh is a Pittsburgh-wide problem, so we all must come together to find a solution.  In the early hours of this morning, all I could think about was the great burden I have for the young people in Homewood.  I shared that burden with our staff at North Way during our weekly staff meeting this morning.  I happen to lead LAMP in Homewood, and I am very passionate about it.  But finding mentors for young people in Homewood, before they get involved in violence, is not just my issue because I happen to lead LAMP.  It is our entire church's issue.  We cannot possibly solve all of the problems that lead to violence in Homewood, nor is that our purpose with LAMP.  There are many factors that lead to youth violence, and we cannot impact all of those factors.  But... one thing we can do is find enough mentors to match with the kids on the waiting list.  It's only about 50 children, and our church has several thousand people.

God is working through many people and organizations toward the transformation of Homewood.  North Way contributes mentors as one part of those combined efforts.  I am hopeful for this community.  In the meantime, I am also heartbroken. Transformation is indeed a process, and my heart will remain burdened every time I hear gunshots or learn about another young person dying in my neighborhood.  I will never become complacent to these violent circumstances.  However, I cannot control whether or not people from my church decide to mentor the kids who are waiting.  I can do my best to put the needs in front of people as best as I can, but in the end God must work on people's hearts and the people who the Holy Spirit nudges must be obedient to follow through.  I know it is no coincidence that God opened the door for our church to mentor children in Homewood.  If God could open that door, then he is by all means capable of bringing enough people for every single child who wants a mentor.

Showing Up

I have decided to officially take on a new mentee match this year.  I have had the opportunity to be matched with a fourth grade boy who was really looking forward to having a mentor this year.  Something interesting is going on, though.  He has been absent from school the last two times I have showed up to spend time with him.  I am scheduled to see him today in about an hour, so I am wondering if he is going to be there.  I am doing more than wondering, I guess.  I am praying.  As a Christian, I do not need to be powerless when it comes to the battle that is raging for the heart of my new mentee.  God has a plan for his life, and God has chosen to work through me to reach this young man.  Even if he is not there again today, I am going to make sure that I do my part and show up.  The rest is up to God.

Consistency is extremenly important in mentoring.  I know one mentor who was matched with a mentee, and he showed up every week at the arranged time only to find that his mentee was not there.  This went on for six months.  Sometimes he thought he could hear his mentee in the background, but he would just say, "well, tell him I'll be here next week if he wants to hang out."  He did eventually get frustrated, and he made the decision not to waste his time anymore so he didn't show up one week.  He got a phone call from the mentee asking "Why didn't you come to get me today?"  The mentor said, "Because you haven't been going with me when I showed up!"  The mentee said, "I'm sorry.  I'll go with you next week if you come."  The mentor showed up the following week, and they went out and had a great time together.  Their formal mentoring relationship lasted for nine more years until the mentee graduated from high school.  Now, as adults they are friends and the mentee has been really thriving as an adult.  God just wants us to be obedient and show up.  He wants us to be selfless, because mentoring us not about us.  It's all about God.