Failure to Launch

I read a great article recently about a relatively new category of young men that is emerging in American society.  Nobody has really settled on a universal term to call them yet, as far as I have noticed.  The article I read used two terms:  post-adolescence and pre-adulthood.  Pop culture may call it failure to launch.  Whatever the label eventually becomes, the point is that there are many young American men out there in their twenties and thirties who have emphatically decided not to enter into the next stage of the masculine journey.  The issue is defined by passivity.  They may still live with their mommy and daddy, or they may have ascended to the lofty height of the bachelor pad with some other boys trapped in mens' bodies.  They may date, if they can muster up the energy, but they never commit and often try to fully immerse themselves in the hook up culture if possible.  Even if they use restraint and avoid the temptation of easy sexual conquests, they sometimes enter into loosely defined "relationships" in order to avoid commitment.  Women don't know what to make of them, but there seem to be slim pickings out there so standards are lowered in order to be able to somehow connect.  And women wonder where all of the real men have gone.  These guys may be able to make a lot of money at their jobs, but a lot of that goes to beer, pizza, video games, or the latest tech gadgets.  They spend their time, talents, and treasure on themselves without much regard for anyone else.  They've arranged for their life to just work out that way.

I know this sounds like a pretty harsh criticism of these guys, but it is very frustrating to watch young men be taken out by the worldy culture around them.  Who knows what the root causes are?  Maybe their parents hovered over them too much and taught them how special they are and that the world should somehow revolve around them.  Maybe they have bought into what the American culture has tried to hold up as the new version of masculinity.  Maybe feminism took its toll on men.  Either way, this is a huge problem in our society.  Young men who choose not to grow up leave a huge void in society.  It leaves some of us guys to have to pick up the slack and carry around tremendous burdens due to their many shortcomings.  It leaves many young women wondering what to do now.  The lifestyle choice leads young men down a path of self destruction.  And, worst of all, these guys fail to live out the unique calling that God has given them in his mission to redeem all of humanity.  I may joke about it, but it does harm to our world in many different ways.

All is not lost, though.  There are still pockets of young men who are bravely choosing to live out their callings in life.  They are moving out of their mommies' homes.  They are beginning to think about people other than themselves.  They are living full lives as single men, or getting married, having children, and doing their best to be the husbands and fathers that God intended them to be.  They are stepping into leadership positions at their jobs, in their churches, and in their families.  Leadership comes with a great cost, but that his how God set up the masculine journey.  The journey is full of adventure, risk, and danger.  It will cost us everything that we have.  But God has designed us, as men, to give ourselves away to others for his sake.  Life is not found in passivity, or settling for the smaller stories that the world wants us to live in.  Nor is life found in misguided overaggression where men might try to control their lives and everyone around them.  Our calling in life is to pour ourselves out for others, to spend ourselves for the sake of Christ.  Life is not meant to be lazy and irresponsible, although American culture makes quite a sales pitch for guys to settle there.  A life unlived is a sad thing, and it's up to the men who do know the way to speak into the lives of the younger generation of men who may have lost their way.  Sometimes we all need a little nudge from some older men in our lives to step into the next stage in the masculine journey.