The Meaning Behind a Tattoo

A couple days ago I drove to my mentee's house to pick him up, and he walked out of his house with his jacket only covering one arm. He had a big smile on his face and he was nodding approvingly while looking down at his arm. As he got in my car, I could see that he had a huge tattoo on his forearm. He had just got it the day before so it was still sore and covered with a special oil to help it heal. He looked over at me and said, "What do you think, Mr. B?"

I questioned in that moment how I should respond. My mentee has never known his father, and the two older men in his life who he looked up to, his brother and his uncle, were killed this past summer. I am now one of the only consistent male figures in his life, so I try to view that role with a lot of care. I didn't say anything to him at first. No lectures about how tattoos are permanent. No speeches about morals, or about what future employers might think. I didn't think to refer him to books or articles on the subject of tattoos. I didn't give any hint of disappointment or disapproval. I broke the silence by asking, "Can I get a closer look at that thing? Tell me about it. What does it mean?" He said, "The initials are my brother's who died last summer. The dates are his birthday and the day he died. And the big cross is there because my bro is with Jesus." I have been helping him through the grieving process with his brother's death, and I have been encouraging him to open up about the emotions he has been dealing with. I guess I wasn't expecting that to happen in the form of a tattoo, but it seemed appropriate to him to get one in honor of what would have been his big brother's 19th birthday. After his explanation about the tattoo, I just smiled at him and said, "That's really nice. Tell me a little more about your brother." And a great conversation followed.

Mentors play an important role in the lives of our mentees. We are friends. We are role models. We are people that kids can open up about things with. We are not in charge of fixing kids, or their problems. We are not parents. We are not their boss. And we are definitely not the tattoo police. We are not responsible for trying to make our mentees conform to our values. We are not in charge of changing them. LAMP mentors are in our our mentees lives to show them Christ's amazing, profound, spectacular, life-changing love. We listen a lot. We love a lot. And with that perspective of humility and service, God is able to work through us. And that's what mentoring is all about.

Justice Resolutions

One of my favorite passages of Scripture is Isaiah 58.  Verses 6-7 are as follows:

Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?

Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?

In The Hole in Our Gospel Richard Stearns writes, "These words describe a people and a society characterized by justice, fairness, and a concern for the poor.  They portray not just a personal ethic but also a community ethic.  The reference to 'break(ing) every yoke' suggests that any system, law, or practice that is unjust must be broken - whether personal, social, political, or economic."

As we set personal goals and resolutions for ourselves in 2011, let us not forget that life is not all about our selves.  God has a role for every Christian to act justly on behalf of people in need in our own neighborhoods, our own cities, and around the world.  We are all called to give ourselves away to others for the sake of God's purposes.

The Transformational Role of the Church in Society

I really enjoy being a part of making individual mentoring matches between people from my church and kids in Homewood. I know each match has the potential to transform the lives of both the mentors and the mentees. I have tremendous hope that God will work through each match. However, I also know there is much more potential for my church to impact Homewood, the city of Pittsburgh, and the world!  God has designed his Church to be the hope of the world, and when we fail to live out that mission then we fall short of the plans God has for the church.

In The Hole in the Gospel, Richard Stearns writes, "It's important to understand why churches are so strategically important to carrying out the mission that Jesus described in Luke 4, of bringing the good news of the kingdom of God to the whole world. As individuals, we all have an important role to play in demonstrating the gospel through our lives. We can pray, give, volunteer, and become effective personal ambassadors for the gospel. However, our greatest power to change the world is released when we come together in collective action to organize and focus the resources of the whole body of Christ. A church of one thousand members can have a much more powerful impact by harnessing the power of the whole than its individual members can have acting alone. God established the institution of the Church as a key strategy for building His kingdom and for leading the social revolution required by the gospel - 'on earth as it is in heaven' (Matt. 6:10). Said another way, without the collective and organizing power of churches, the ability of Christians to impact the world is greatly compromised."

December

December is always an intense time to work at a church, and this year has been no exception at North Way.  I have learned that LAMP is particularly busy at this time of year because many LAMP families have needs and people are very interested in helping to meet those needs at this time of year.  As an urban ministry practitioner, December requires me to creatively use my leadership skills and it sometimes tests my cross-cultural relationship building abilities.  The outcomes are generally great, but the work is heavy at this time of year.  I also have a research paper due at the end of December for the DMin, so I've been moving pretty fast lately.

When things are busy or stressful for me as an urban ministry leader and student, I have had to learn how to take care of myself and manage my time.  But most importantly, at these busy times I have learned the importance of being led by God instead of trying to control my circumstances or lead myself.  I often fail at yielding control of ministry activity to God, but I'm trying to become more patient and willing to wait on God's timing.  Today God actually came through in an amazing way in several areas.  It was remarkable!!!  I was tired and worn out, and God intervened and opened up some amazing doors.  As a result, Homewood families will be supported in some amazing ways.  And, today I had the opportunity to have some exciting conversations about God with a few of my mentees.

The bottom line is... when things get difficult and we don't know how things are going to get done, that's usually when God comes through.  I believe that God loves to come through for us in ways that we can never understand.  But we must be willing to give up control and be patient in order for God to be in control of our lives.

Equipping Ourselves to Impact Youth

Today should be a fun day.  This morning I'm working on research for my dissertation, and then this afternoon I'll be spending time with five LAMP kids.  We were hoping to go snow tubing, but I just found out that the place we were planning to go is not open for the season yet.  I'm sure we'll still find something fun to do together, though.

It's important for people who work with at-risk youth to prepare themselves by being up to date on the latest strategies and youth development models.  Most people probably won't prepare themselves by doing a doctorate degree, but it's still important to look at the research that is out, read lots of books and articles, and discuss those findings with colleagues. 

Then, go spend time with kids to work those ideas out in context.  By the way, the most important thing we can all do to equip ourselves to reach at-risk youth is spend time in the Bible and connecting with God in the best ways that we know to do that.  Knowledge is just knowledge if we don't apply it to life, and reading the Bible to learn more about God is just a bunch of knowledge about God if we don't work that knowledge out in our lives.

It's All About God and Relationships

Recently a kid from Homewood asked me, "Mr. B. Why did you move to Homewood?"  I found myself kind of fumbling for an anwer.  I didn't think that he would understand that I am applying incarnational leadership principles in order to contribute to the process of transformation in Homewood.  Urban ministry models raced through my brain, and I could have talked about so many aspects of the calling that God has given our family to reach people in Homewood.  Eventually, I just answered "Well, we moved here because of the relationships we have with you guys (our mentees) through LAMP.  We wanted to be closer to all of you... to experience what you experience... to be closer to you in case you need us... in short, we just want to be better mentors."

I moved to Homewood for many different reasons.  I love the relationships I have with the kids in Homewood.  I love Pittsburgh.  I love Homewood.  I want to be obedient when God asks me to do something.  I want to be a more effective leader.  I want my life to be real.  I want to take risks.  I want to give myself away for others.  But at the end of the day, my move to Homewood was not about me.  I am not a savior, nor do I ever want to try to be or have other people consider me to be one.  I'm just an ordinary guy.  In fact, I'm nothing without Christ.  And so my move to Homewood is all about about Jesus.  More than anything, I want my young friend to know that Jesus loves him and has a plan and purpose for his life.  And the best way I know how to get that message across to him is by entering his context.  After all, Jesus is moving in his neighborhood in many different ways.  I have chosen to simply join the work that God is doing in Homewood.

How Should Church Leaders Spend Their Time?

I listened for a little while last night to a Christian preacher on the radio.  He made the comment that studying and sermon preparation are extremely important to pastors... so important that people should not bother pastors during the week because they are simply being selfish and cutting into the pastor's study time.  This particular pastor said that he spends at least 24 hours in his office studying for his sermons every week.  He is a very good communicator, and one can tell that he spends a lot of time preparing to preach from the Bible. I can appreciate some good, undistracted study time (I have to force myself to do that sometimes while working on a doctorate degree).  However, this preacher's comments didn't sit well with me.  For some reason there is a mindset out there that church leaders should be sitting at a desk Monday through Friday to be effective.  There is a mindset that church leaders should be sheltered or protected from being with people because that requires too much relational capacity.  For some reason there is a mindset at churches that the Christian experience is about Sunday mornings, and that everything that happens during the week is simply planning for programs and preaching at a building.

I believe that church leaders should spend very little time sitting at their desks doing emails or studying.  Instead they should be out and about visiting with people, both people who go to their church and people who are not Christians.  Church leaders should be expected to have a lot of relational capacity... we shouldn't be guarded from being with people.  I believe theology is hashed out in context, on the streets and in people's homes and at their jobs.  Those are the places that Christian leaders should be spending their time.  The Christian life is not only played out on Sunday mornings.  The Christian life is every day, all day, in messy, complex environments.

I was thinking to myself how absurd that pastor's comments were in light of my experiences as a church leader over the last three or four days.  On Sunday evening one of the kids from my neighorhood was arrested.  His mom and brothers were very upset, so Julie and I dropped what we were doing (mostly resting after church in the morning and mentoring in the afternoon) and we went over to their house in Homewood to see how we could support the family.  Julie ministered to the mom and helped to calm her down while I did my best to try to deescalate two of the brothers (15 and 17 years old) who wanted to go fight the boys who they thought had been responsible for getting their brother arrested.  I spent time with those boys for a couple hours on Monday morning and most of Monday evening (we had them over for dinner).  So much for the study time I had set aside for Monday evening... I instead spent that time with my young friend who was released from the youth detention center that afternoon.  We talked about the next steps in his case, and how I could support him at his court hearing.  After the kids from the neighborhood left on Monday night, I received a call that one of our LAMP families was in desperate need and I would have to change the plans I had for early Tuesday morning in order to engage and support them in their situation.  They were on the brink of being homeless, so we offered for them to stay at our house if needed. I think we may have bought them some more time, and we're working on helping them get into stable housing.  Still, I spent Tuesday morning in their living room supporting the LAMP mentee and his mother.  Tuesday night it was very cold and snowing outside, but many kids still wanted to go to our weekly Tuesday night basketball league at the YMCA in Homewood.  So I drove around all over the place picking up kids who had the farthest walk to get to the Y.  In spite of the weather tons of kids showed up to play basketball, eat pizza, pray together, and hear the gospel message.  "Church" was happening on a cold Tuesday night in Homewood at a basketball gym... and I didn't even have to study in my office for 26 hours to prepare!

I am not trying to point at my life and say that I have everything all figured out about how to be a church leader.  There are many different roles in the Church.  I just play one small part.  However, I do believe strongly that Christian leaders should be out in the world, not just on Sunday morning, mixing it up relationally with all kinds of people (not just other Christians or people who go to our churches).  Church leaders, especially urban church leaders, should treat their cities and neighborhoods like a parish.  We should head out of our offices and into the streets, homes, hospitals, schools, and businesses in our area.  "Church" happens throughout the week, too.  We should not turn our spirituality on and off, or over progam ourselves for Sunday morning experiences so that we don't have time throughout the week to doing anything other than prepare for sermons or plan program activity.